That jokes
Yo forehead so big that when I asked Vegeta how big it is, he said “IT’S OVER 9000!”
Your hairline is so far back that I can't even back out of my car.
What do you call an owl that does magic?
Hooodini.
Why is a brick always hard? Because he seen the brick that was getting laid right next to him.
You like bread toasted? That means you're roasted.
My friend told me to beat that pussy up... so why is the local animal control at my door?
Yo mama so fat that she needs her belly button to beat her home by 15 min.
Your mum is so fat that when she sat on the toilet, she couldn't because her fat ass can't fit on the toilet seat.
"Nining leven BITCH. I don't know how to spell, but it's that shit where the planes flew into them towers."
I went to the aquarium this weekend, but I didn’t stay long. There’s something fishy about that place.
Did you hear about the goldfish that went bankrupt?
Now he's a bronze fish.
What do people have that orphans don't? A family.
Yo mama so short that when she plays mini golf, it's just called golf.
You must have been born on the highway because that's where accidents happen.
My friend said, “there shouldn’t be discrimination, just black and normal.”
That was also the same guy who said [link to joke].
Little Johnny’s father walks into the bathroom and catches him masturbating. He says, “Son, every time you do that, you kill an innocent baby.”
The next day, his father walks into the bathroom and catches him again. Johnny says, “Bow your head, Dad. Can’t you see we’re having a funeral?”
I had to go to my friend's house.
I went in her basement and I saw taped mouths that are KIDS in the basement... Is my friend OK???
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Orange who?
Orange glad I didn’t say banana. Hahaha, you’re right, I hate that guy!
A UN survey asked the following: Please, in your honest opinion, could you give your thoughts on the food shortages in the rest of the world?
It was a failure because:
South Americans don’t know the word “please.”
Eastern Europeans don’t know the word “honest.”
Middle Easterns don’t know the word “opinion.”
Balkans don’t know the word “give.”
Chinese don’t know the word “thoughts.”
Africans don’t know the word “food.”
Western Europeans don’t know the word “shortage.”
Americans don’t know the words “the rest of the world.”
Then they simply explained “just donate healthy food to the global south to help.” But that still didn’t sit right with everyone, because Israelis do not know the word “donate,” and Pacific Islanders do not know the words “healthy food.”
My girl got mad at me last night for saying to my mom that she had a dildo ready at all times and is always hard, so my mom wanted to see. So I whipped out my penis and my mom said it’s bigger than your dad’s!