That jokes

Like, if you hate wearing a mask.

Every time I'm out in public, and I see someone without their mask, I always feel like there is something extra special about them. Then I realize that I can see all their face!

True story by the way.

What do I think about the Kennedy assassination?

First of all, he should have had a roof on that car.

What do you call a pig that goes to the slaughterhouse? Technoblade.

I had a teacher named Mr. Stubs. I asked why he was given that name, and he replied, "My parents said my limbs were spare parts."

I'll kill a bitch like the policeman did to that white woman. He chopped her up and put her in the woods, the suck fuck.

Gwen, are you mad at me? Cause that was a faker.

Like the faker Gwen?

What has legs but can't walk?

A veteran.

Have you heard of the show Naked and Afraid?

That's what I call hide and seek with my uncle.

So, a husband and a wife have three kids. The husband is on his death bed, and he looks up at his wife and says, "Honey, is our youngest son truly and honestly mine?" She says in response, "I swear on everything that is good and holy, our youngest son is yours." He dies peacefully.

Then she says under her breath, "I'm glad he didn't ask about the first two."

Did you know that Stephen Hawking's death was an accident because he pressed "shut down" instead of "sleep mode?"

What did the parents rearrange the furniture to punish a child?

Guess he was a stupid blind motherfucker 🖕 that didn't even know how to use a cane to figure out where they put the furniture.

What do you call a deer that has no eyes?

No eye deer.

A drunk guy is showing friends his new apartment.

The last stop is the bedroom, where a big brass gong sits next to the bed.

"What's that gong for?" the friend asks him.

"It's not a gong," the drunk replies. "It's a talking clock."

"How does it work?"

The guy picks up a hammer, gives the gong an ear-shattering pound, and steps back.

Suddenly, someone on the other side of the wall screams, "For God's sake, you asshole, it's 3:30 in the god damn morning!"

You know stairs, right? The dark... My there is something. I know that if you fall down the stairs, your balls will be crushed!

Someone: Didn’t we already meet somewhere?

Me: Yeah. That’s why I don’t go there anymore.

When you tell your mom that she is bad at jokes, then she tells you, "Well, I made you!"

Off-topic, but why is the picture in the baby category feet? And nasty feet at that? What am I, Dan Schneider?

A famous celebrity admitted that she was non-straight, suffered from a rare condition that changed the colour of her skin, did not age well, only wanted to be compensated for her work in the 5th month of each year at her favourite store while laying down:

TO GET FAYE'S WAY, PAY GRAY, GRAY, GAY FAYE WRAY IN MAY AND LAY HER DOWN AT "THE BAY". OK!!!

Yo mama so fat that when she sits down, global warming starts.

Magician: "I am the greatest magician in the whole world. Look, now you see the rabbit in the hat, and now it is gone!"

Redneck girl: "That's nothing. My dad is the greatest magician! He disappears for a whole year and reappears at Christmas for a couple of hours!"