That jokes
"That's not my age; it's just not true.
My heart is young; the time just flew.
I'm staring at this strange old face, and someone else is in my space."
Why isn't Hilary Duff interested in education?
A. She said that she was not interested in learning about anything that was so yesterday.
Is it bad to hit an orphan?
What are they gonna do, tell their parents?
Well... I mean, they could go to church and try to gather that someone hit them.
You're so white that when I turn off the lights, you're a night light.
One day I went skating and skated for so long that my feet were incredibly sore.
It was like my skates were moving all by themselves, but I decided to just roll with the situation.
What do you call headphones that walk out on their children? Deadbeats.
You tell your dad what one plus one is and he says five. You forgot that your dad's brain is on the floor.
There's only 3 types of people: the ones who can count and the ones that can't.
My local hacker contacted me and told me that he hacked my computer.
I responded, “Show me proof.” He provided the username and password for my email account, bank account, video game accounts, and social media accounts. To be honest, that is the fastest “Forgot Password” procedure I’ve ever done.
A penis has a sad life.
His hair is a mess. His family is nuts. His neighbor is an asshole. His best friend is a pussy, and his owner beats him. That's it for now.
The West is dying...just like the romance of an empire, especially the western part of the empire. Funny that, 'cause the East was going strong.
Your mom: Your plate is full, that's enough food on your plate.
Me: My plate is not full, I still see the white of the plate.
Your hairline is so deep that we measure it in metres.
I saw an ad that said, "By the time this ad is over, two identities would have been stolen." So, I did what I had to do and skipped the ad! You're welcome to the two people's identities I saved!
How can you tell that a woman is asking for sex? Wait for her to drop a bomb on you.
What does a website have that an orphan doesn't? A home.
Our teacher told us to write a story about the life of an object that's not alive, so I wrote a story about an emo kid.
Why can’t mental hospitals have Halloween?
Because the patients thought the pumpkins were them. I tried.
When I was a kid, my father would tell me that the black Santa Claus was coming to our house for Christmas. So, instead of putting out cookies and milk, we would put out cornbread and purple Kool-Aid.
Your mama so fat that’s why Hulk gets big.