That jokes

Your mom was dating a boy that had a twin brother, but she did it with the wrong one.

It was raining sadly all day. My wife, my two daughters, and me were stuck in the house when wife’s mom and dad just died.

Wife: 😭😭😭I wish this never happened.

Mia, our first daughter: Mommy, it’s ok. I love whenever I see you🥰🥰

Abby, our second daughter: I love you all. Only if you guys die I won’t, but I love you when you're alive 😉😏

Me, husband: What kind of nonsense was that? You love us when we’re alive, but you don’t love us when we’re dead🤥😥😓

Everyone except Abby: Abby, this is serious. Mommy’s mother and father died. Mia says: Yes, your mom is sadly down right now, you made her more sad😡🤬. Dad says: *sniffs* Abby, I had made a discussion. I will take you to an orphanage. I am sorry 😣 when I am better and happy and I forgot what you said then we’ll get you back. Mom says:

This was not a joke. I just did this for Love 💕

Say "traffic," and replace "r" with "h." It sounds like... that thicc.

Sarcastic Doctor: Tell me.

Guy: I have leukemia in the brain.

Sarcastic Doctor: That doesn't concern me.

A guy is sitting in a bar, feeling sad. "What's the matter?" asks the bartender.

"My paternal uncle died three months ago."

"Wow! No wonder you're sad!"

"It's not that. He left me a third of his estate."

"Then what's the matter?"

"My maternal uncle died two months ago."

"Two uncles in two months? No wonder you're sad!"

"It's not that either. He left me half of his estate."

"Then what's the matter?"

"My father died last month."

"Your dad too? No wonder you're sad!"

"It's not that. He left me his entire estate."

"Then what's the matter?"

With a massive sob, the guy says, "None of my relatives died this month!"

When a rocketship went into space, seven astronauts went into space. That's why it's called NASA.

I think they are New York Jets fans and the Jets QB helped them... That's why one of them was off target.

Shut up with that Vegeta looking hairline!

What comes after 611? 711.

What comes after that? 811.

What comes after that? George W. Bush.

I talk about the girls in my math class simping over anime characters and making random ships as well as for Miraculous Ladybug children's show, whatever the show is called, but it's a kids show. 💀 Now they’re searching up pictures of Tom Holland laughing in their absolute weirdness.

I like Tom Holland, but these kids man, they like him like they’re in a relationship. They might as well start kissing and licking the screen. They’re probably writing fanfictions in their free time when they aren’t searching up kids show characters, anime characters, and Tom Holland pics on their SCHOOL CHROMEBOOK. Their only device choice was a school-provided laptop which is monitored by the school while they are writing fan fictions on Google Docs and searching up some weird Tom Holland stuff. Imagine how Tom Holland would feel if he found out that there are 11 year old girls searching up some weird stuff about him.

Yo mamma so dumb that she jumped off a building after drinking Red Bull.

Ever wondered how Jesus got rid of the cross that killed him?

Burned it in a hellish fire to make some firewood.

Yo mama is so stupid, she thought that fruit punch was a boxer.

What do you call grass that grows in space?

Astro-turf.

I saw my sisters masturbating with cucumbers and hotdogs.

I said, "Come on, I was gonna eat that later! Now it's just gonna taste like hotdogs and cucumbers!"

What’s black and white and red all over?

A crushed nun!

What’s that black stuff between an elephants toes?

Slow natives.

Troll your friend by saying "I" and saying "cup," and then tell them that that means "I see you pee."

LOL

There is also "lettuce cup," which means "let us see you pee."

You're so fat that when you went outside, you broke the 2-meter rule for COVID.

2001/9/11, that day was fire.

My friend said that gay people existed 10 years ago.

He can tell the future.