That jokes

My Dad pays a lot of attention to our household and has always had a good eye for detail. He was the one that first noticed that my mother and I have the same ring size.

Hey, do you remember that dragon thing?

Draggin' these balls across your face.

Worst jokes ever? More like I killed an old man in 2012 in Oklahoma City at that nasty Red Lobster, not the one near the freeway, and hid the body in a creek!

How do you check that a rabbit is old?

You check how many gray hares it has.

When you ask your friend if he thinks lunch is good, but he says that he doesn't taste anything.

Me: You know what's the favorite slogan that Hindus like the most?

My friend: What?

Me: “kati supari kata paan katiyo ko bhejo pakistan.”

A priest and Rabbi run out of the orphanage.

Priest: "How the hell did that fire start?"

Rabbi: "I don't know, but what about the children?"

Priest: "Fuck the children."

Rabbi: "Do we have time?"

Priest: "There's always time for something like that."

Dad: Come on, David, go dress up like a girl.

David: Isn't that illegal?

Dad: Nah, it isn't illegal if you keep the buttons in.

David: I hate my life.

Why was the orphan happy that he got in trouble at school?

Because the principal was going to call his parents.

The moment you realize that school Kahoot! games are more competitive than the Super Bowl.

It’s disappointing that Los Angeles doesn’t offer better transportation, especially since my neighbor offers free mustache rides every night.

Two cunts were walking down the street.

One was doing calculus, and the other one says, "Imagine me, a stupid cunt that can talk...."

My math teacher walked by and asked me, "What is that?"

I said, "Paper."

She said, "Really?"

I said, "Yeah, do you need glasses?"

Roses are blood red, violets are twilight-hued oh how I wish I was dead so that I no longer have to brood.

Death would be a reprieve as I would no longer have to be true, and I would no longer have to be around any of you.

First human comes.

Sans: That was pun intended.

When you know that everyone thinks you're a hoe.

WHEN Y'ALL ARE MY HOES!

Why do orphans that go to their friend's house get this reaction from the friend's mom:

"Go back to your house, it's late." "Finn, wait, can I have your mom's phone number?" "Finn, wait, aren't you an orphan?" "Wait, don't you have a phone, Finn?" "Wait, I forgot, you don't have a phone because nobody wanted to get you a phone or to get you."

A Catholic gay male that is well-endowed goes to confession, and while he is inside the confessional booth, the Catholic priest is sucking his dick, and he says to the Catholic priest, "What are you doing, Father?"

And the priest says, "It's called giving a blowjob."

And the Catholic gay male says, "Why are you giving me a blowjob, Father, inside the confessional booth?"

And the Catholic priest says, "If there was no glory hole in the confessional booth, my son, it would not be called a confessional booth in the first place."

Have you heard about the animal that was made of a human hand?

It's an ARMadillo.

If I ever stuff up a post, please let me be. I do have ADHD, short-term memory disorder, and dyscalculia, so please remember that no one likes to be picked on for things that they can't control.