That jokes

Bitches be like, "Read the room."

What genre is that in?

Women have eggs and milk in them...

And they say that they don't belong in the kitchen.

Did you hear the one about the deaf person?

Me: No.

That's because they can't hear, so they don't talk.

I'm so poor that when people come over to my house, I come out the window and say, "Ding Dong!"

Random kid: Yo mama so stupid that she brought a spoon to the Super Bowl.

Orphan: What's a mama?

Random kid: *shook*

I'm taking a guitar lesson at school. My band instructor told me he was going to hit me with my guitar. I asked him if that was a fret.

That camping trip was in-tents.

I recently saw a pun contest in NYC. The owners said there was a maximum of 10 puns that I could submit. I wrote 10 puns and submitted all of them in hopes that at least one would win--however, no pun in ten did.

Yo mamma so ugly that even God said, "Be gone, DEMON!"

Two kids were sitting at a restaurant. One said, "Could I please have some water? I am feeling a little HORSE." The other said, "Animal Puns? TOUCAN play at that game."

Somebody told another person that they would meet at the crack of dawn.

Let's just say Dawn got very mad.

What do you call an alligator that reads maps? Navigator.

Another Nazi joke.

Did Nazi that coming?

Did Jew?

Today I went to the doctor for a test, and he said I have 10 months to live.

So later that day I stabbed him to death, and the judge sentenced me for 15 years in prison. Problem solved!

There was a math teacher on a plane that crashed. What was the last thing that went through their head?

A pentagon.

So I’m riding in the car with my dad and all of a sudden I smell something rank without warning.

My dad starts laughing at me.

Dad: “Son! That must have been an orphan fart! You know why?”

Me: “Why dad?”

Dad: “Because it ain’t got no pop!”

Why do American guns only have 30 bullets?

'Cause that's how many kids are in a class.

You really can't call Stalin bad. Just think about the people that wanted to die.

Why did the orphan call her boyfriend "daddy"?

Because she wanted that D.

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

Bikini.

Bikini who?

Oh, that was just a bikini.