That jokes

I was in a school shooting a few years ago, 3 people died.

I guess that’s what you get when you’re bad at hide and seek.

Yo mama so fat that the Avengers team had to snap five times and say, "Oh my God!"

"Goodness, that's what Post Malone sounds like?"

"Give me some pre-Malone hip hop any day!"

My kid runs in today to tell me that he found a floating cow, but when he got me to come and see, all I saw was a piñata with a tail and white spots. Such a stupid child. So after that I gave him a nice refreshing drink from the toilet and a few of those chocolate sprinkles. (: I'm such a good parent...

Yo momma decided to go to KFC until she realized she had to share with her family, so she bought ten buckets and the cashier said, "Here is the receipt." Now yo momma got afraid of how much money she had to spend, despiting on how she spent more than Drake's net worth that he can even lend. She went back home seeing her family looking at her and the KFC, thinking that could be her rent, but the whole family dug into the food. By the second they see the plates empty and seeing the lazy mom steady, she ate so much she wasn't ready until she fell, which caused an earthquake, which made her go to jail, which caused her to be scary.

Yo mama so ugly that when Hello Kitty saw her, she said, "Goodbye!"

"Mom? Don't freak out, but I'm in the hospital." "Aaron, you've been a doctor for over 8 years now, please stop starting every phone conversation we have with that."

Why do orphans like to play tennis?

Because that’s the only love they will get.

My friend asks for a turkey burger on 4th of July. I say, "That's Thanksgiving, man!"

What do you call a mushroom that makes music?

A decomposer.

Yo mama eat so much that she threw up a thousand times and said, "Help me, son!"

My wife left a note on the fridge that said, "This isn't working." I'm not sure what she's talking about. I opened the fridge door and it's working fine!

Yo mama is so strict that Thanos couldn't collect the Infinity Stones until he had done his homework.

I recently learned that it's politically incorrect to talk about taking part in a school shooting.

Apparently the term "school photos" is more acceptable.

Gumball: What's that? Is it a twig?

Banana Joe: No.

Darwin: Is it a leaf?

Banana Joe: No.

Gumball: What is it then?

Banana Joe: It's my BUTT!!!

One day an orphan threw a boomerang. It's not the only thing that didn't come back.

What is a difference between a tree, tree house that yyyyy?

I read a quote about the Twin Towers that hit me like a plane.

I guess this is pretty plane.

I am sorry I am just winging it.

Wow, I guess these jokes haven't taken off.

Wow, I just landed that one!

I don't ever really bother women, but when I do, I usually just want to talk. I guess since I just so happened to be a straight male that's not a 10 or a 5, I get shutdown so fast. I put out lit candles...like damn, I thought I hid my ring.