Yo mama is so fat that she brought a spoon to the Super Bowl and a plate and ketchup to the red zone.
That Jokes
Okay, what do you call a dummy that writes a dumb writer?
When you suffer from depression and someone tells you to just cheer up, god damn, why didn't I think of that?
Just letting you know if people cry when they see you, that doesn't mean they miss you. That means they're scared of your onion breath.
"I'm sorry, Wendy, but I don't trust anything that bleeds for five days and doesn't die."
What was the first thing that went through the 9/11 victims' heads?
Their ankles.
Did you hear about the dwarf that had his wallet stolen? Just how low can you get?
You're so ugly that even the World Trade Center got a better transformation than you.
What do you call a deer that has no eye? No-eye deer!
What do you call a sped kid in a wheelchair that caught on fire?
Hot Wheels.
I wanted to do something nice for my uncle, so I cleaned out the nice vase that was given at grandma's funeral. It had so much sand, I'm glad to help.
What do you call an emo that crossed a road? Roadkill.
There was one kid that came home from school and asked his mom what dark humor was.
She said, "Well son, do you see that guy over there across the road? Go give him a high-five."
Son said, "But I can't see."
Mom said, "That's the point."
Charlene's hairline was so big that Joe Biden could not make it prime minister.
What do you call a nacho that isn't yours?
Nacho cheese.
Dude,
if you stab a cereal box, will that make you a cereal killer?
What do you call a gay kid that is on fire?
LGBBQ
My late grandpa was always popular with women. One day, before he died, I asked him what his secret was. He said, "I inherited a watering hole."
Bewildered, I replied, "What does that have to do with anything?"
"I could easily get anyone wet because I was well endowed."
Someone should start a vaping company with the slogan: "Vapes that hit harder than your dad." Sales would skyrocket.
Why does Batman cover half of his face? To let the police know that he's white.
