That jokes

Your forehead's so big that Michael Jackson could moonwalk across that b*tch.

Stop saying negative shit about dark humor jokes! If it bugs you that bad, then go away! That'll solve everything but world hunger and failed abortion.

What do you call a lamp that molests young boys? A Jacko Lantern!

Aren't paraplegics just plegics that can fly?

Kid: Mom, what’s dark humor?

Mom: Do you see that man without arms over there? Tell him to clap.

Kid: But, Mom, I’m blind!

Mom: Exactly.

There was a magician on board the Titanic and said that he could make anything disappear.

Once the ship had gone down one of the passengers said to him, "Go on, so what did you do with the ship then?"

Do you know how to make 4 Albanians stand on a shoebox?

Just tell them that it floats.

My friend was told by her doctor that she was morbidly obese.

As if she doesn't have enough on her plate.

Me: I know why you don't have friends.

Kid: Why?

Me: Because you can't even figure that out.

What can you give a white person that you can't give to a black person?

A black eye.

If a midget says your hair smells nice, is that sexual assault?

Don't be sad, because that's das backwards and das not good.

My German girlfriend likes to rate our sex between 1-10.

Last night we tried anal, she kept shouting "9"!

That’s the best I’ve done so far.

How many line cooks does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Three. One to do it, and two to say that they did it better at the previous restaurant they were at.

What was the one test that Steven Hawking couldn't pass?

reCAPTCHA

When you hear your mom’s car pull in the driveway and you remember that she told you to take the chicken out of the freezer 7 hours ago.

What do you call a Mexican that smokes weed? A baked bean.

Some guy farts and says, "That was some asshole behind me."

What is the last thing that goes through a fly's head when it hits the windshield?

Its butt.

What do you call cows that have a sense of humor? -- Laughing stock.