That jokes
"HEY THAT’S MY MILK!"
People trying to stop me from being depressed: “Just cheer up!”
Me: “WOW, I NEVER THOUGHT OF THAT!”
Me: “You guys wanna know a cool fact?”
Friend 1: “Yeah.”
Friend 2: “Yea.”
Me: “Japan is RIGHT that way. If we swim all night...we’ll be able to get to Japan.”
Friend 3: “I love anime.”
Friend 1 & 2: “Nononononononononono!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
Me: *Laughs at Friend 3*
It's not that the man did not know how to juggle, he just didn't have the balls to do it.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
It didn't.
What is a dog that does not walk? A magic dog.
Yo mama is so old that her first Christmas was the first Christmas!
A man is being sued for raping a deaf girl. The judge, showing his pinky:
"You should be ashamed, man, your conscience is even smaller than that!"
The girl, showing her arm:
"Mhhhmmhmm, mhhmhm!"
"I got that dawg in me," said the Asian men after lunch.
What do you call a banana that can dance?
CHUPAPIMUNYANYO BUISNESS [sic]
What's yellow and can't swim?
A school bus full of kids.
Your mama is so fat that she took a picture at Christmas, and it's still downloading.
Yo papa's wife is so dumb and fat that we had to use yo papa.
An American is touring the Soviet Union. A Russian takes him to a school so he can see what it's like. He asks the kids if they like the Soviet Union. All of the kids say yes, they love it. All but one. That kid bursts out crying. The American asks what's wrong, and he cries, "I want to live in the Soviet Union!"
"Doctors are just the same as lawyers; the only difference is that lawyers merely rob you, whereas doctors rob you and kill you too."
Albert is a homophobic guy. His cousin Franco is also a homophobic guy.
Albert's aunt and cousin have visited his parents, but Albert didn't know that because he came late at night. Franco was sleeping in Albert's bed, thinking he would not come home. Albert laid on his bed, thinking there was no one on it, and then they started fucking ^_*
No phobia lasts forever 👌😂
You're so fat that when you got on the scales, they said, "I need your weight, not your phone number!"
My grandfather said that ppl rely on technology too much these days, so I thought about what he said and decided to unplug his life support.
"Self harm jokes aren't that deep."
Yo mama is so fat that she got on the scale, and it says, "Lose some pounds before you get on the scale, or it will break!"