That jokes
I was working at a check-in station for a flight to Riyadh when suddenly I was approached by Benzema, Kante, and Neymar!
At first I was very surprised and curious, so I asked them why they decided to play in the Saudi Pro League and not MLS where GOAT Messi plays. They all smiled and happily replied: "Don't you know, the legendary bench warmer PRISTIANO PENALDO plays there!"
Now I fully understood what they meant! They know that Pristiano is already finished, so winning trophies will be easy for them. I smiled and happily let them through.
I'd make an emo joke, but that would be cutting a little too close.
October 1, 2017 is when the Mandalay Bay became the Mandalay spray. Thank Steve for that.
No matter how big the jar, there is one thing that can never fit inside it. What is it?
Is that a mirror in your pocket?
'Cause I can see myself in your pants.
Roses are red, violets are blue, Polo G is the goat, but that means nothing to you.
What is the name of the political party in the United States that was founded in 1971 and has lost a presidential election since 1972, and is more politically corrupted than the man boy love association of America because it is politically motivated?
Libertarian Party.
Why is it that the Libertarian Party never had a formal president of the United States that ran as a Libertarian that had a presidential library?
Because the Libertarian Party is the party of principle. The Libertarian Party was founded in 1971 and the Libertarian Party has not won a presidential election since 1972, because the Libertarian Party doesn't believe in using force to achieve political and social goals.
The Libertarian Party was founded in 1971, and the Libertarian Party has lost every presidential election since 1972, and according to the Libertarian Party the Libertarian Party is the only political party in the United States that is the party of principle. If the Libertarian Party is the party of principle then why hasn't the Libertarian Party won a presidential election since 1972?
Because it is politically motivated.
I heard that the Twin Towers have some plane DNA.
Once at school, a teacher thought I was Russian. Why do you think that? I said. The teacher replied, because you're reading from Right to Left.
Your mom is so fat that when she went on top of one of the Twin Towers, it collapsed.
People should've recognized that Jared Fogle was a sick offender by one coded Subway sandwich; he normally claimed to kids he ate the sweet onion chicken teriyaki when it was the tuna sub.
Tuna sub was the message of the target to the kid since "tuna sub" put together makes "tunasub" and the truth comes when you spell it in reverse ("busanut")!
These jokes are so dark that they picked the cotton!
It’s amazing just how paranoid Hitler was.
In Hitler’s Germany, it was illegal to make jokes about him or his regime.
Come on! Forbidding Germans from making jokes? Isn’t that a bit like forbidding Americans from eating salad?
"I work with animals," a guy says to his date.
"That's so sweet," she replies. "I love a man who cares about animals. Where do you work?"
"I'm a butcher," he replies.
My husband and I have reached the difficult decision that we do not want children.
If anybody does, please just send me your contact details and we can drop them off tomorrow.
It has been rumored that Disney is developing a movie based on suicide. The title?
Finding Emo.
I just read that someone in New York gets stabbed every 52 seconds. Poor guy!
That shirt's very becoming on you.
If I were on you, I’d be coming too.