Suicide is just self-defense. You're killing the person that tried to kill you.
What do you call an Indian that came home late?
A curfew muncher.
Yo momma so stupid that she thought Dunkin' Donuts was a basketball team.
Your mom's so small that she hang glided on a Dorito!
Yo mama is so dumb that she tried to climb Mountain Dew.
My grandmother made her passage on a boat. The thing wasn’t the only thing that went down.
What do you call a person in America that is not a retard?
A foreign exchange student.
Hello, I am back with more mind-blowing facts.
1. Why are cookies called cookies and bacon called bacon when you bake cookies and cook bacon?
2. If you tuck your shirt into your trousers and it is called tucking your shirt in, does that mean if your shirt is over your trousers, doesn't that mean it's called tucking your trousers into your shirt?
Yo ass so fat that you can't see your toes.
When you go to the movies, you take up seven rows.
Me: Hey Siri, did you know Candice died?
Siri: Yes, I was informed she died from sugondese.
Me: What is that?
Siri: Sugondese nuts.
You’re so fat,
that your family moved to the other side of the U.S.A., but they still see you.
You’re so fat that when you sit on the toilet, it says, “A B C D E F G, get your butt off of me!”
Why do Inbred White Trash Racists talk so much shit?
Answer: Because deep down inside, they KNOW that they are nothing but PATHETIC LOSERS!
Your hairline is so curved that McDonald's hired you to be their "M."
You're so skinny that you fall.
You're so poor that you die and go to the backrooms.
So big that when you step, you break the whole galaxy.
You're so fat that people say you're the biggest bird!
Your hairline is so fat that when you meet Santa, you're fatter than him and your mom.
"Hey, today was great!"
"What happened?"
"I ran into my ex today."
"What's so great about that?"
"I was in my car!"
