That jokes

My friend: I want to cut myself.

Me: No, don’t do that. *hands lighter* Do this instead.

What do you call an Asian that was born too early?

Wong Tai Ming.

Yo, hairline go so far back that your dad found it before you did.

My friend said that gay people existed 10 years ago.

He can tell the future.

Do you know that Helen Keller had a dog?

Neither did she.

I was at a funeral. I kissed a hot girl I did not know. She was the one that died.

Your mum is so fat and so dumb that she took a spoon to the Super Bowl.

Your mum is so fat that she took a spoon to the supercool.

How to make an orphan BLEED?

Step 1 - Tell them to clap until they actually have a loving family.

Step 2 - LAUGH EVILLY as they BLEED.

Step 3 - Tell them to kys.

Step 4 - Leave that mental asylum.

Yo mama is so stupid that she asked how much is a free sample.

Yo mama's so fat that every time she goes on an elevator, it goes down.

According to all known laws of aviation, there is no way that Keagan's FIFA team should be this terrible, also the problem is that Keagan is a Real Madrid fan.

Okay, so I know this is not a joke, but I wanted to take some time to say if you have autism, you are still amazing. You are lovely in every way, and if people bully you, don't listen because they are wrong. You are cute, and I know how it feels. I have ADHD, and I get bullied a lot, but I don't let that get to me because I know what they are saying is wrong and not true. People with autism, stay strong; you got this. I will be your friend by heart, even if it's not in person.

The COVID-19 situation has been especially stressful for the Flat Earth Society.

They fear that social distancing measures could push people over the edge.

Yo mama so Karen that when she went to hell, she asked Satan for the manager.

There’s nothing funny about orphans, right?

Well, I guess that depends on your sense of humor.

What do you call a bowling ball that falls from the sky and knocks down all the bowling pins?

An airstrike.

Did you know that the F in orphan means family?

There's no F in orphan?

Exactly.

Your mom is so fat that the photographer had to go to the moon just to click the photo of her belly button.

I have a huge thought: if Satan punishes people who are bad, doesn't that make him good?