That jokes

Your mum is so stupid, she tried to take the crown off a "Keep Calm and Carry On" poster so that she could become the new queen of England.

Statistics show that 1 in 3 people live next to a pedophile. However, I think that's a lie because I just live next to 2 stunning 8-year-olds.

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  • If you have a daughter, give her the same name as the mum; that way when you call for a beer, you get two beers, and when you call for sex, you get two sex...

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  • Did you hear that Stephen Hawking wrote a new book? It's called "Around The House in Eighty Days."

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  • Have you ever seen the clown in Walmart that hides from gay people?

    No..... Really?

    Hahaha

    Grasshole.

    Your mama is so fat that all restaurants say, "Maximum weight 240KG or your mum!"

    Yo mama's so ugly, and her voice is so loud that The X Factor doesn't want or need her to show up to the performances when she sings.

    Did you hear about the fortune telling dwarf that escaped from prison?

    Reports say there's a small medium at large!

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  • Your momma's so fat that she should probably be worried about the increased risk of cardiovascular disease.

    When I was little, I would pray to Jesus every night for him to get me a new bike. I learned one week in Sunday school that that's not how it works, so instead I just stole one and asked him for forgiveness.