Have you ever seen the clown in Walmart that hides from gay people?
No..... Really?
Hahaha
Grasshole.
Your mama is so fat that all restaurants say, "Maximum weight 240KG or your mum!"
Yo mama's so ugly, and her voice is so loud that The X Factor doesn't want or need her to show up to the performances when she sings.
Yo mama's so stupid that she studied for her eye test.
What do you call a planet that poops? Uranus.
Did you hear about the fortune telling dwarf that escaped from prison?
Reports say there's a small medium at large!
Your momma is so ugly that she went out as herself for Halloween.
Your momma's so fat that she should probably be worried about the increased risk of cardiovascular disease.
When I was little, I would pray to Jesus every night for him to get me a new bike. I learned one week in Sunday school that that's not how it works, so instead I just stole one and asked him for forgiveness.
A man was having a dream. He dreamt about a mystical creature that was commonly known as the god of toast.
When the man woke up, he turned to tell his wife about the dream. When he delivers the "toast god" punchline, his wife shrugged as she faced the opposite direction to the man.
The man turned around also and started sobbing as he realised his marriage is in shambles.
Never trust a Justin, he is made up of atoms that make up everything.
Sonic can run around the world in a second.
In that same time, Chuck Norris can run around the Universe.
What do you call a stick that comes back a chicken?
An Aussie, an Asian, and a Frenchman are in a bar.
The Asian throws his whiskey in the air and shoots it. The Frenchman asks, "Why did you do that?" The Asian says, "There are plenty of them where we come from."
The Frenchman throws his champagne in the air and shoots it. Then the Aussie asks, "Why did you do that?" The Frenchman replies, "There are plenty of them where we come from."
The Aussie then throws his beer up in the air and shoots the Asian. Then the Frenchman asked, "Why did you do that?" The Aussie then replies, "There are plenty of them where we come from."
I heard that Jimmy Savile never wanted to be famous... All he ever wanted was to settle down, and have kids.
One day in my class, we were having that good snack, and one of my classmates choked on a Cheerio. One small, single, Cheerio!
Jeff asks, "Did you hear about the guy they call the flash?"
Bob responds, "No, I haven't. Do they call him that because he runs fast?"
Jeff replies, "Nah, they call him that because he doesn't wear pants."
Did you hear on the news that a midget psychic broke out of jail?
There is a small medium at large.
You know chords, right? Well, you know what I love to do? To play with A-minor. You know, feel your fingers on A-minor. Gives you a sense of power, to just F A-minor.
But that's not my favorite thing to fiddle with. That would be the D of minors. It's just solid, you know. If you're clever you can have the D of minors into the C of minors. Or, though a bit tricky, the D of minors into the B of minors.
And at this point you've gotten the point and if I want to continue it would be a bit of a stretch.
What did the pedophile say to the nutcracker?
"Aren't you a little too young to be doing that?"
