That jokes
Yo mom's so fat that she wakes up on both sides of the bed.
What do you call a Chinese hooker that won't get on her knees?
Cantonese...
Little Johnny went on a camping trip. All the tents were taken, so he shared with the teacher. So Little Johnny says: "Can I play with your bellybutton? My mom always lets me when we camp." So the teacher says: "Sure." 5 minutes later the teacher says: "Woah, woah, woah that's not my bellybutton!" Little Johnny says: "Woah, woah, woah, that's not my finger."
Did you know the Bible has a passage about killing babies by smashing them against rocks?
That's probably because microwaves hadn't been invented yet.
Yo mama's so fat that Jane Goodall couldn't tell if she was a chimpanzee or a human being.
Yo mama is so fat that when I was printing a picture of her last year, it's still printing.
Yo mama is so stupid that she studied for a COVID test.
What makes piracy and anti-piracy so unique?
One isn't that of a thief, while the other is as serious as fuck.
What is long that Paul Walker can fit into his mouth? A long black tree.
What was the last thing that went through the 9/11 jumpers' heads?
Their ankles.
Once, my father came home and found me in front of a roaring fire.
That made my father very mad, as we didn't have a fireplace.
A pair of cows were talking in the field. One says, "Have you heard about the mad cow disease that's going around?"
"Yeah," the other cow says. "Makes me glad I'm a penguin."
Why didn't Trump beat Biden?
Because he couldn't trump that bitch!
The Statue of Liberty is French; she ain't even American. Deport that bitch!
Why did Trump go to Jeffrey's secret Island?
So he could trump that little bitch!
Did you know that if you die you can still be a part of family game night!
All you have to do is have your family cremate you and put you in an hour glass, and the games that use hour glasses, well, you will be a part of family game night.
Son: Mom, what's dark humor?
Mom: Do you see that man without arms over there? Tell him to clap.
Son: Mom, I’m blind.
Mom: Exactly.
Son: Mom, what's dark humor?
Mom: Do you see that man without arms over there? Tell him to clap.
Son: Mom, I'm blind.
Mom: Exactly.
Here's what to do if an annoying person keeps talking to you. First, ignore them until they ask you if you're going to respond. Then ask them: if they were walking down the street and a rabid dog suddenly started barking at them, would they get on all fours and bark back? After that, continue to ignore them.
A man got pulled over, and the policeman had stepped out and said, "Do you know how fast you were going?"
The man said, "I was trying to catch up with the traffic."
The officer said, "There is no traffic."
The man said, "Exactly, that’s how far behind I am!"