That jokes

I read a quote about the Twin Towers that hit me like a plane.

I don't get it.

Orphans are very religious, well mostly. Statistics say that roughly 2/3 of the orphan population go to church. I mean it's the only place they can call someone "father".

Alright, riddle me this: I am loud and obnoxious, I like music that rhymes. I'm a fraction of the population, but commit half the crimes! What am I?

I was blessed with a 9-inch dick. Fair to say that priest is in jail now.

Q: Why do depressed people always have colored hair?

A: That’s as close as they can get to dye.

Do you ever consider during the cremation that the meat is well done?

Somebody asked me, "What's that on your arm?" I just said, "My cats got OCD."

Yo mama so vegetarian that she loves the Vegan Teacher!

Person 1: Stop making suicidal jokes!

Person 2: Okay, okay, I’ll cut it out.

Person 1: Really?

Person 2: They're not even that deep.

Random person: We are taking away your freedoms to keep you safe.

Hitla: That's exactly what I said.

In a game, there are crew members that have to keep the ship running. But little did they know, there was an imposter among them.

Sound familiar? 🤔

Well, in September 11th...

God, my dad got so pissed during 9/11.

All that work wasted.

There are multiple. That’s the joke.

Why are so many Americans stupid? Because they shoot the ones that go to school.

My mom said that being straight is good, but if you're straight, how do you walk? So I decided to be gay.

My ceiling fan isn't the only thing that's going to be hanging tonight.

The Mexican landscaper came to cut our lawn. My mom was happy then asked him, "Can I have some of your burrito?" He said, "Yeah." I said, "Whatever."

A few minutes later, my mom told me to cut the lawn. I said, "Why do I have to do it? That's what he's there for." My mom said, "He's going to do the burrito for me." Then I said, "Okay." I finished cutting the lawn and went in the house. I see my mom giving the landscaper a blow job. I said to my mom, "What are you doing?" My mom said, "What does it look like? I'm having my burrito." The landscaper told me that I missed a spot while cutting the lawn.

I told an orphan that I watch Family Guy, and he seemed disappointed, so I reminded him that he has no family.

So I walk into a bar, and there’s people waiting in line to punch me in the face.

That’s the punch line.

So, I heard the CEO gave her daughter a really good spot in the company.

Everyone is mad, but I think it just goes to show that it pays to sleep with your boss.