That jokes

Hockey

  • Why are there a lot of whites in hockey?

    It’s the only other job that involves beating something black other than being a cop.

  • 6
  • Insult

  • Blitz: "HOLD ON! You better move that pussy wagon right now, or I’m gonna..."

    Vortex: "You'll do what?"

    Blitz: "Or I'll... uh... uh, I- I'll call HR!"

    *Silence, then Verosika/me, Blitz, and Vortex bust into laughter. And then back to seriousness*

    Verosika/me: "Anyway, meet my new Hellhound... Vortex. Unlike you, he actually does his job well." *leaves and flips Blitz off* "Ta-ta fuck stain."

  • 3
  • Orphan

  • Teacher: Anyone missing?

    Orphan: My parents.

    Teacher: Something that is real, kid.

    Orphan: My family.

    Teacher: OMG, out of my classroom, kid!

    Kid

  • I don’t see why people say that emo kids don’t like to hangout. I seen them hanging all day.

    Emo kid

  • Me: I saw an emo kid that got a haircut today. But instead of saying “Like ya cut g” and slapping the neck, I slapped the wrist and said “Like ya cut’s g.”

    Emo kid: He said like your bullet holes, G.

    Me: I have no bullet holes.

    Emo kid: Not yet, you don't.

    Me: Ayo what the fuc*.

    Emo kid

  • I saw an emo kid that got a haircut today. But instead of saying “Like ya cut, g” and slapping the neck, I slapped the wrist and said “Like ya cut’s g”.

    Self Harm

  • When I self-harmed one day, my mother told me that it cut her deep. We both found that very amusing.

  • 1
  • Man

  • What can a gay man not be, but a heterosexual female that is a whore can be if a heterosexual male gives her enough money? 💸

    cock teaser

  • 2
  • Death

  • When I get suicidal, everyone worries. I don't know why because that is when I'm the happiest, thinking about death.

  • 1
  • Blowjob

  • How can a gay man that is unemployed be productive in the workplace?

    Give a blowjob to other gay men in the workplace for money.

  • 2
  • Punchline

  • You walk into a room, and there’s a lot of people waiting in line to punch you... Yeah, that’s the punchline.

    Roast

  • Guy: Are you tired?

    His “Crush”: No.

    Guy: Are you sure, because you’ve been running through my mind all day?

    His “Crush”: That’s sweet.

    Guy: I’m joking, you don’t look like you do any running.

    Color

  • Roses are red, that much is true. But violets are purple, not fucking blue.

  • 6