Ten jokes
In about ten days, Stephen Hawking's wheelchair is going to have its first and last service.
Why don't Romans find algebra fun?
X is always ten.
What is worse: 10 babies stapled to 1 tree, or 1 baby stapled to ten trees?
What do you call one baby in ten trashcans?
Chopped Junior!
Me running from the principal because I put ten woman's rights books in the fictional section!
So, today is my birthday. Today, I am 13, but yesterday I am going to turn 10. But I am not even going to school to know the number ten, because one time at 10 p.m. in the morning it was so cold in my hot room, so I went outside to drive my car. But I stopped because the light turned green. I was taking a bath in the front of my car, and it didn’t have a bin, so I am taking a sh$t.
A guy is sitting at home when he hears a knock at the door. He opens the door and sees a snail on the porch. He picks up the snail and throws it as far as he can.
Three years later there’s a knock on the door. He opens it and sees the same snail. The snail says: “What the hell was that all about?”
What kind of rape victim has a shower ten times a day?
The type that gets raped a lot.
What can read 105 stories in ten seconds?
New Yorkers.
Do you wanna lose ten pounds of ugly fat? Cut off your head.
How many times can you subtract ten from one thousand?
One; after that you're subtracting ten from 990.
Why was 10 scared? Because of 9/11.
Why was 10 afraid?
Because he was in the middle of 9 and 11.
Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven ate nine.
Why is ten afraid? Because he’s in between nine and eleven.
Gently throw a baby off a ten story building!
There were ten in the bed and the little one said... "Roll over..."
Why was six scared of seven? Because 7 ate 9. Why was 10 scared? Because it was between 9/11.
Why was nine scared of ten?
Because five was a registered twelve offender.
Wait, can I try the joke again?
Why did orphans have to drink their own piss?
Because last time they went to the bar, they went with their dad and drank some Corona, then got drunk and started eating someone's toenails, so his dad went to go get the milk and everybody had to evacuate the bar. Then the orphan started walking on his teeth and got listed for the top ten wanted animals in the world, so then he felt wanted and went to go home and had nobody to go to, so he found the beer bottle he drunk out of and started pissing in it so he wouldn't die and loved it. So then someone saw him in the bushes pissing in a beer bottle then drinking, so the person who saw him started recording and posted it on YouTube, and the boy became famous, so now he can feel like he was wanted in life after daddy went to go get the milk, then the little boy became really rich.
Q. What's the difference between my phone battery and an anti-vax kid?
A. Nothing, they both die at ten.