The average human male walks for five miles, but the gas station is ten miles away. So why does it take fifteen years for my dad to buy cigarettes?
What’s ten feet long and bald
The conga line in the cancer ward
yo mama so fat she got arrested for carrying ten pounds of crack
How do you make an octopus laugh?
You give it ten-tickles.
I told my friend ten puns to see what one made him laugh. No pun in ten did
What’s the difference between a Ferrari and ten 6 year olds?
I don’t have a Ferrari in my garage
whats the difference from morbid humor & dark humor
dark humor fits 10 people in 1 container
morbid humor fits 1 person on ten containers
Bill Gates teaches a kindergarten class to count to ten. "1, 2, 3, 3.1, 95, 98, ME, 2000, XP, Vista, 7, 8, 10."
I had a very long dream that I was eating the most juiciest tastiest meal I'd ever eaten in my life ten when I woke up my wife was gone.
Yesterday in my dream I ate a ten pound marshmallow, when I woke up my pillow was gone
There was the person who sent ten different puns to his friends, with the hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh. No pun in ten did.
My dad always told me I should sing tenor. Ten or twelve miles away
Man to woman: Would you sleep with me for one million dollars? Woman: Sure. Man: How about for ten dollars? Woman: What do you think I am? Man: We’ve already established what you are. All we’re doing is negotiating price.
Q: who are the fastest readers? A: twin tower victims they got 80 stories in ten seconds
So a doctor walks into the room with a dying patient. He looks the man up and down and says gravely: "I'm sorry, you only have ten left." The other man smiles nervously and asks, "T-ten what doc? Hours? Days? Weeks?" The doctor calmly looks at him. "Nine."
Doctor: you don't have long to live. 10... Patient: ten what? ten years, ten months? Doctor: 9... 8... 7...
Ten Catholic priests all die in a bus accident. When they arrive at the pearly gates, St. Peter acknowledges them. He sees that they're all priests and immediately says "If any of you are pedophiles, there's no point waiting here. You might as well eff off straight to hell right now!” Nine of the priests turn around and begin to walk away. St. Peter calls after them, "AND TAKE THE DEAF BASTARD WITH YOU TOO!”
Two boys were arguing in class one day when the teacher walked in to the classroom. The teacher asked them, "Why are you arguing?"
One of the boys replied, "We found a ten dollar bill and decided to give it to whoever tells the biggest lie."
"You should be ashamed of yourselves," said the teacher. "When I was your age I didn't even know what a lie was."
The boys gave the ten dollars to the teacher.
Whats worse than ten dead babies nailed to one tree?
One dead baby nailed to ten trees.
A man walks into a bar and orders three shots. "Long day?" the bartender asks. "Well... My oldest son just came out..." The man finishes the shots and leaves the bar. The next day, the man comes back and orders four shots. "What now?" the bartender asks. "My middle son just came out." The man finishes his drinks and leaves. He comes back the next day and orders five shots. "Again?" the bartender asks. "Yeah. My youngest son." He drinks his shots and leaves. The next day, he comes in again. This time, he orders ten shots. "My God! Is there anyone in your family that likes girls??" the bartender asks. "Yeah... My wife."
