Tell jokes

POV: Wine Taster in hell.

I was sitting with the best wine ever made on the table in front of me. This silhouette begins to speak, "You have risen to be the most superb Wine Taster on Earth. Then you got run over by a truck hauling freshly made wine to a warehouse. Your crimes are as follows: you left your high school prom date with another man after you got her pregnant, you let your mother believe that the cat ran away after you drowned it in the pool, and you never got married. How do you plead?"

The man looked at the silhouette like it was a purple rabbit.

"Guilty," said the man, "but if you would be so kind would you at least tell me what the wine in front of me tastes and smells like? I will take any punishment you deem fit."

"Very well," said the silhouette, "but you will regret that request."

Out of the shadows comes a boy only looking 19 years old. The boy says, "I will you taster today. I am confident about my sense of taste." The boy takes the first bottle and opens it, pours it into a wine glass, and swirls it around. He then takes a sniff and begins to drink, to the Wine Taster he says, "Mmmm, taste like chicken."

I would tell you a cat pun, but it's too purr-fect to share.

Wanna hear a skeleton joke?

Sorry, I don't have the guts to tell it.

Yo mama is so retarded, they tell her it was gonna be chilly outside, she went and got a bowl!

Why did the doctor tell the man to go for a mountain walk?

Alps clear the mind! Haha.

Tell an orphan "your mom", but then remember he doesn't have one.

I once met a skeleton. I asked if I could tell him a joke. He agreed. I told it to him. He found it quite “humerus”.

Do you know what a reverse exorcism is?

It's when the demon tells the priest to exit the child's body.

Me running out of the hospital after telling COVID patients to stay "positive."

I was the person that flew into the Twin Towers. I have two friends that are both twins, and whenever they speak, I tell them to shut up because if they don't, I'll make myself explode in them.

Can never tell a funny 9/11 joke. They always collapse and burn.

Hey, my sister said you're Mattick, so I decided to swim with her and she threw a ball at me, so I went to my dad and she said, "Why did you tell dad?" She was crying because I’m not getting a car seat.

Why did Jesus come back from the dead? He forgot to tell you that you're gay!

She’s got 20 dudes in her DMs telling her she is pretty. Stand out, call her ugly.

Ask someone if they are a rhino. If they say yes, tell them "so you're horny." And if they reply yes again, block them from your life entirely.

How do you get an orphan's hands to bleed?

Tell him to clap until his parents come home!

How do you make an orphan's hands bleed?

Tell him to clap until his parents come home.

TELL ME YOU'VE DONE THIS WITHOUT TELLING ME YOU'VE DONE THIS.!!! So, we all know when y'all were in school, y'all would fart, but y'all would try to make it silent, but for me, that one day I farted loud, and everyone could hear. Everyone got to blame the annoying kid.

Imagine losing your child in WW2 and your son fucking respawns, so you tell him off for not getting enough kills.

I burned an orphan's hand and then they said, "You will pay for this."

Me: "What are you going to do? Tell your parents?"