Tell jokes

Orphan: I’m gonna tell my parents!

Me: Where are they?

Orphan: ̄\_(ツ)_/ ̄

She’s got 20 dudes in her DMs telling her she is pretty. Stand out, call her ugly.

Hey, my sister said you're Mattick, so I decided to swim with her and she threw a ball at me, so I went to my dad and she said, "Why did you tell dad?" She was crying because I’m not getting a car seat.

Do you know what a reverse exorcism is?

It's when the demon tells the priest to exit the child's body.

How do you get an orphan's hands to bleed?

Tell him to clap until his parents come home!

Me running out of the hospital after telling COVID patients to stay "positive."

Hi, this is Chloe, and I am about to tell you about my joke.

Why did the cow cross the road? Because to get to the other side.

Why can you trust a donut? It tells the hole truth!

I accidentally hit an orphan with my car, but I was not worried because he couldn’t tell his parents.

I was gonna tell you a great pun, but it's too cheesy.

I was talking to a Muslim yesterday, and he asked me what it's like to be blind.

I happened to tell him about 20 jokes; in fact, I was working on my twentieth. So I answered with, "At least I don't have to screw in light bulbs. It's not like I need the damn things anyway."

Alright, I'm gonna make like a tree and leaf.

*****You have to leave right after you tell this joke.****

Why is it so punny when Sans tells a joke in the evening?

Because a SANSET is happening.

Your mum stinks of disabled people.

Wanna know why?

I don't know either, you tell me.

Yo mama is so retarded, they tell her it was gonna be chilly outside, she went and got a bowl!

Why did the doctor tell the man to go for a mountain walk?

Alps clear the mind! Haha.

I once met a skeleton. I asked if I could tell him a joke. He agreed. I told it to him. He found it quite “humerus”.

I would tell you a cat pun, but it's too purr-fect to share.

Wanna hear a skeleton joke?

Sorry, I don't have the guts to tell it.

I would tell you a story of my dad... If I knew who he was.