New Tell Jokes - Page 26 - Worst Jokes Ever

I went to a 90 minute prostitute once. She was a whore and a half, I tell ya!

Teacher: Tell me a moral story.

Little Johnny: Once my grandfather was in WW2. He saw everyone praising to kill him. For example, we should sneak up and kill him. We get the helicopter above and shoot him from there. My grandfather heard this, he got his gun and shot them all.

Teacher: What is the moral even?

Little Johnny: Never plan to kill my grandfather.

Yo mama's so fat that Jane Goodall couldn't tell if she was a chimpanzee or a human being.

Tell me morbid jokes in comments so I have some jokes for my friend.

What does Jeffrey tell his white teens?

You want to take it orally or through anal? Joke, I'm not asking.

Son: Mom, what's dark humor?

Mom: Do you see that man without arms over there? Tell him to clap.

Son: Mom, I’m blind.

Mom: Exactly.

I love telling good news to my patients, like they survived the crash but their family died.

I'm thinking about telling my daughter there's a ghost in the house. At least then I can wear a bed sheet at night and fuck her without her being suspicious.

Does anyone still look at this? If you do, tell me if I should make more jokes :)

The joke about the giraffe’s neck is far too long to tell.

Your secret is safe with me. I walnut tell a soul.

I’d tell you a secret about peanut butter, but you might spread it.

I have a pun, but I will nut tell you!

Knock, knock. Who’s there? Walnut. Walnut who? I walnut tell you. It’s a secret.

Knock, knock. Who’s there? Butter. Butter who? I butter not tell you.

So, there is this button. There's a 50% chance you get a million dollars. There's a 50% chance that you turn into a turtle. Make them press the button, and if they give the money, you just push the orphan over, take their money, and run away because who are they going to tell? Their parents?

The bell rings, and Ana was about to leave, but the teacher said, "The bell doesn't dismiss you, I do."

The next day, Ana was late, and the teacher asked, "Why are you late?" Ana replied with, "The bell doesn't tell me when I should arrive, I do."

I can tell a joke :)

Twinkle, twinkle, there's a car Coming like a shooting star. I will stand in the way. I will not be seen again. Are you happy I am dead? Now you made it to the end.

Little Johnny brings his cat to school, and then the teacher asked him why. Little Johnny says, "Because I heard my dad tell my mom I'm going to eat that pussy up when the kids leave!"