Tell jokes

My teacher gave me an A in Physics, then she tells me that it turns guys on.

How can you tell if a man is straight? You don't have to, he will tell you.

A priest and a rabbi were hanging out at a playground. The priest waves to a kid to come over and tells the rabbi, "Let's screw this kid."

The rabbi looks confused and asks, "Out of what?"

Q: How do you turn a cat into a fish?

A: Tell the woman not to wash down there.

Tell an orphan "your mom", but then remember he doesn't have one.

I'd tell a joke about how my mom was abusive, but I either forgot everything, or she just wasn't there.

Tell me a joke about my hairline.

No, because he don't got one, feel like Donald Trump, it don't move.

If you're ever bored, punch an orphan. What are they going to do? Tell their parents?

I would tell you an orphan joke, ehh I’ll just tell your parents instead.

Ok, so I have a joke for you, go look in the mirror and when you realize, come back to me and tell me.

Tell someone that you're gonna say “I 1 poopoo” and it will go in order of numbers, so they say, “I 2 poopoo” & so on:

You) I 1 poopoo

(Them) I 2 poopoo

(You) I 3 poopoo

(Them) I 4 poopoo

(You) I 5 poopoo

(Them) I 6 poopoo

(You) I 7 poopoo

(Them) I 8 poopoo

And be like, “You ate poopoo??! EWW!!”

You know, people always tell you to stand up for yourself. Why didn't anyone tell the World Trade Center that? 🤔

I told Siri about my dog, and she told me if she could tell me a joke to cheer me up, and I said okay.

She asked me, "Knock knock." I said, "Who is there?" She said, "Not your dog."

Once I asked Siri to tell me a joke, and it asked me, "What is the difference between a large pizza and you?" One can feed a family.

It's funny how you feel so alone with depression, and yet once you tell people on some random website, so many people relate. Unfortunately, it doesn't stop the loneliness.

I saw this one quote: "The people who smile the most are covering the most pain." I think this is true, just not with everyone. As I am really depressed and act like myself with my friends, but with my parents and family, I force a smile so they don't worry more than they do.

I did a test for my therapy session to see what level of depression I had. It came back with severe, 22/24, but I asked her to tell my mum it came back as moderate, saying I would tell her that my depression got worse. She went along with it, but I haven't told my mum and I now make things sound like I aren't as messed up as I truly am to my therapist.

You know why eggs can't tell jokes?

They crack each other up!

Guys, this is so wrong. I'm an orphan and this extremely offends me. I'm telling my parents, um.......

My homework was to watch as much porn as I can... and tell my teacher the details so he won't get in trouble for watching it during class.

If I were alone on an island with Camilla Cabello, and we were never going to escape, I'd rape her. I mean, what is she going to do? Tell someone?