Teenager jokes
Why did the emo kid hate the nun? (Cuz nun of them were emo.)
Q: What did one emo kid say to the other emo kid?
A: Wanna hang out?
"I met a girl and she's 28."
"Now I'm the coolest guy in all of 8th grade."
- AJR
What do you call a high school student?
Alone and depressed.
If you drop an apple and an emo girl, who falls first?
The apple, because the emo girl hung herself.
Why do emo kids cost so much?
Because they’re the only people you can scan at the checkout machine.
Did you hear about the octopus who went emo? He sliced all 8 of his wrists.
Why are white teenagers the best for the army? They are good at shooting things up.
As a 13 year old, online dating is a tough thing. Every time I meet someone new, they end up in jail.
Jonny went to school one day, and later that day his dad got a call saying he needed to pick up his son because he had had sex with a teacher. When Jonny got home, his dad was so happy he went out to the store and bought him a bike. When they bought the bike, Jonny was offered to ride the bike, but he declined it and replied, "My butt still hurts."
The emo kid tried to high five the tree.
But the tree left him hanging.
One day a local pastor was visiting the home of some parishioners who had a teenage son. The parents were worried about what career their son would choose, so the pastor said he had a simple test that could predict what would become of him.
He would put three objects on a table and let the young man choose whichever one he wanted to have: a Bible, a wallet, and a bottle of scotch. If the boy chose the Bible, he would probably become a priest; if he chose the wallet, he'd be a banker; and if he chose the bottle, he'd become a worthless bum.
So the parents called their son into the room, and the pastor told him he could have whichever object he wished. When the boy promptly picked up all three, the pastor cried out, "Heaven forbid! He's going to be a Jesuit!"
So sad when the emo kid tried to give a high five to a tree.
Too bad he left him hanging.
Do emo kids get jealous of their phone when it dies?
How did the emo kid compliment the other emo kid? He said, "I like your cuts G."
Why did the emo kid get kicked out of the amusement park?
He kept cutting in line.
What do teenage girls and happy meals have in common?
They both come with a toy.
A teenage guy is taking a girl to a dance. First, he goes to buy her flowers, but there’s a really long line at the florist. Finally, he buys them.
Then, he goes to rent a tux, but there’s a really long line for that, too. After a few hours, he gets the tux.
That night, he picks up the girl and they go to the school for the dance. There’s a long line to get in that goes halfway around the school. A while later, they finally get in. They dance and talk for a while, then the guy gets thirsty, so he goes over to the table to get punch. There is no punch line.
Kid: I'm hungry.
Dad Bot: Hi hungry, I'm dad.
Teenager: I'm Hitler did nothing wrong.
Dad Bot: Hi Hitler did nothing wrong, I'm dad.
Nazi: Finally!
There were 30 high school seniors taking finals, and once they finished, the teacher, Mrs. Jones, walked up and down the classroom to collect the tests, and asked, "So, are you guys ready for college?" And Brian answered, "No way. School is just a waste of time, every day taking *seven cruel hours of our lives*." Angela replied, "Never! Like Brian said, school is just a waste of time, and the next level is surely not worth paying $50,000 for. Besides, math class is *mental abuse to humans*!" And Jack said, "School has been a waste of so much time I'll never get back, and after these *finals* I've realized... *fuck, I never actually learned shit*!"