Teenager jokes

The popular girl told me, "I bet your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory!"

Two weeks later, she shows up pregnant.

...

I guess her rubber broke too.

Why did the emo kid get mad?

I wore a “Just Do It” shirt.

When your teenager asks for personal space and you remind her that she came out of your personal space.

I’d like to be a One Direction poster because I want to be nailed to the wall by a teenage girl ;)

One day, Little Johnny came home with his girlfriend and told his dad, "We're gonna go to my room and do some homework." His dad said okay. Five minutes later, Little Johnny's dad heard noises coming from his room, so he went to go see what it was, and all he heard was, "Baby, baby, oh, baby, baby, oh." Little Johnny's dad started banging on the door and said, "Little Johnny, what are you doing in there?" Then Little Johnny said, "Dad, we're just having sex." Then Little Johnny's dad said, "Oh, I thought you were listening to some Justin Bieber up in here."

A teenage guy is taking a girl to a dance. First, he goes to buy her flowers, but there’s a really long line at the florist. Finally, he buys them.

Then, he goes to rent a tux, but there’s a really long line for that, too. After a few hours, he gets the tux.

That night, he picks up the girl and they go to the school for the dance. There’s a long line to get in that goes halfway around the school. A while later, they finally get in. They dance and talk for a while, then the guy gets thirsty, so he goes over to the table to get punch. There is no punch line.

What do you do when you run out of lines on your book?

You look at the emo girl and say, "Hey, can I borrow your arm?"

What’s the difference between an emo kid and a dead pig?

Suicide squad.

Me: What do you call 4 depressed kids?

My friend: What?

Me: The Suicide Squad.

What’s the difference between a pimple and a Priest?

You see, a pimple wouldn’t normally come on a kid until he’s 13 years old.

I asked the emo kid if they get jealous when their phone dies.

A father came to his daughter's 18th birthday. He finally came.

A teenager brings her new boyfriend home to meet her parents. They’re appalled by his haircut, his tattoos, his piercings.

Later, the girl’s mom says, “Dear, he doesn’t seem to be a very nice boy.”

“Oh, please, Mom!” says the daughter. “If he wasn’t nice, would he be doing 500 hours of community service?”

What's the difference between acne and the Pope?

Acne waits till you're 13 to cum on your face.

Why did your emo mom get you?

To have someone to hang out with.

Why did the emo kid try [to] high five the tree?

So it can hang him.

When there's no piñata at the party, but the emo kid just hung himself.

What do you call a flat chested emo girl?

Cutting board.

What does an emo kid say to his best friend?

"Let's hang out."

*School Shooter Walks In*

That one kid who plays "Pumped Up Kicks" at max volume.