Technology jokes
The first windmill said to the second, "What's your favorite type of music?"
The second windmill said, "I'm a big metal fan!"
I’m reading a book on antigravity right now.
It’s impossible to put down.
I went to see my grandfather in the hospital because I wanted to get to know him better before he passed, maybe take a selfie with him. But when I got there my phone died, so I unplugged a vacuum to plug in my phone. And it turns out he only knows Spanish, so when he kept saying, "Me desconectaste el soporte de mi vida," I thought he wanted water. But when I got back with the water he was asleep, and now my phone was charged, so I translated what he said. And it was, "You unplugged my life support." That's when I called the doctor...
Good news is, I got one sick selfie!
Where did Stephen Hawking go when he broke his leg?
Hospital or Currys PC World?
A pregnant woman enters the hospital with her concerned husband. As she goes into labor, a group of doctors asked him if he would like to try a device that transfers your spouse's pain to the father's nervous system.
He agrees and the doctors turn the dial on the device to 10%. Strangely, the man felt little pain. They continued to adjust the dial until it stopped at 100%, yet the man felt nothing. Later on, the wife had delivered the baby and the pair left the hospital with a healthy baby only to find the milkman laying on their stairs with a puddle of blood around his head, shaking uncontrollably.
What were Stephen Hawking's last words? The Microsoft shutdown sound.
What happens when a computer thinks it knows better than a human?
Ask Boeing.
Why does Stephen Hawking only do one liners?
He can't do stand-ups.
What do you call a cross between a computer and a vampire bat?
Love at first byte! <3
I was submitting this joke, and I realized Stephen Hawking couldn't.
It had the reCAPTCHA "I'm not a robot."
His wife shut off the internet.
"Did you guys make sure Stephen was plugged in?"
How did Steven Hawking die?
He lost internet connection.
What's the difference between a PC and a 6 year old? I don't have to clean out my PC.
How did Stephen Hawking die?
Somebody threw an EMP at him.
Why did Stephen Hawking die?
Someone unplugged the WiFi router.
The whole reason he is dead is because he kept hitting "Remind me later" on his Windows Updates.
59009 flip it backwards on your calculator... it = boobs!
How did Stephen Hawking die?
He ran out of battery life.
I have so many cash machine jokes.
But none of them seem to work ATM.