Team jokes
Why was Jesus Christ cut from the hockey team?
He kept getting nailed to the boards.
Why are orphans bad at baseball?
Because they don’t know what a home is.
What do you call 2 nuns and a prostitute that play football?
Two tight ends and a wide receiver.
Why can’t orphans have phones?
Because it has a home button.
Why don’t orphans play baseball?
Because they can’t get a home run.
So an orphan played for a football team, and the coach said, "Your parents must be proud of you!" 🤣🤣🤣🤣
What do you call a kid on the track team who isn't on the track team?
A school shooter.
What helped the Lakers win the Finals? Kobe's passing!
What do you call a group of depressed teenagers?
Suicide Squad.
Why can't orphans sign up for sports?
They have to have a parent's signature.
Tim and Tom were at work. Tim said, "I'm sick of this. I'm going to act like an idiot to get sent home." So Tim was on the roof saying, "I am a light bulb!" The boss walked in and said, "Tim, go home, you're acting like a dick!" Then Tom started packing up and Tim said, "Tom, why are you packing up?" Tom says, "I can't work in the fucking dark, can I?"
Why are there no women in the NFL?
Commissioner Roger Goodell firmly believes in equal opportunity, so the girl tries out. Then, if she makes the team, we gangbang her to death. I mean, could you imagine what a scary birch she'd have to be?
What's the similarities between the New York Jets and the World Trade Center?
They both fall in September.
How do baseballs communicate?
They touch base!
When you have to fight an emo kid, but he brings his friends, so you gotta fight the Suicide Squad. But you gotta get the boys to help you.
Yo mama so fat that the Avengers team had to snap five times and say, "Oh my God!"
My little league football debut was a lot like the first time I had sex. I was beaten, bruised, and bloody, but at least my Dad came.
You're so goddamn stupid, you thought Dunkin' Donuts was a basketball team.
Why do people play soccer?
Because people need to kick harder to win a parent.
Yo mama so Irish that she thought the Chicago Shamrox were a Quadball team.
What's Osama bin Laden's favorite football team? New York Jets!!!