Tim and Tom were at work. Tim said, "I'm sick of this. I'm going to act like an idiot to get sent home." So Tim was on the roof saying, "I am a light bulb!" The boss walked in and said, "Tim, go home, you're acting like a dick!" Then Tom started packing up and Tim said, "Tom, why are you packing up?" Tom says, "I can't work in the fucking dark, can I?"
Why are there no women in the NFL?
Commissioner Roger Goodell firmly believes in equal opportunity, so the girl tries out. Then, if she makes the team, we gangbang her to death. I mean, could you imagine what a scary birch she'd have to be?
My little league football debut was a lot like the first time I had sex. I was beaten, bruised, and bloody, but at least my Dad came.
Yo mama so fat that the Avengers team had to snap five times and say, "Oh my God!"
How do baseballs communicate?
They touch base!
What do you call a bank robbery with MrBeast?
A donation team.
When you have to fight an emo kid, but he brings his friends, so you gotta fight the Suicide Squad. But you gotta get the boys to help you.
What's the similarities between the New York Jets and the World Trade Center?
They both fall in September.
You're so goddamn stupid, you thought Dunkin' Donuts was a basketball team.
Why do people play soccer?
Because people need to kick harder to win a parent.
I was going to join the debating team.
... but someone talked me out of it.
Q: Why did the ballerina get kicked off the squad?
She was standing way too close to the dancers.
So NFL teams were playing football on me, and then Justin Jefferson hit something called "the gritty" on me.
The coach yelled at me when I stole home. I ran home with the base and asked him where to put it.
(On their 1-2 loss to Watford) Ty: Well, we mustn't forget that it's been raining so...
Robbie: It's been raining???
Ty: Yeah!
Robbie: Are you being serious??? It's raining for both teams!
You can give a hockey team airplane a new source of heating, but it went too far on September 7th, 2011, when the Yaroslavl plane crash happened.
"Chelsea is the most consistent team.
One win in August, one win in September, and one win in October; it's just like a menstrual cycle.
If they don't win in November, just know that they're pregnant." 😅
There’s only one answer to who would win, 1996 Bulls or 2017 Warriors...
...Steve Kerr’s team.
What is a Fortnite player's favorite football team? The rabbit raiders! LOL! LMAO! LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL! LMAO! 💀💀💀💀💀💀💀
The Philthydelphia Eagles.
That's it. That's the joke.
