Team jokes
A black dude shows up to a job interview for a watermelon farmhand gig, resume full of fried chicken joint experience. The boss asks, "Why should I hire you?" He stutters, "Uh, I got skills in... uh..." Before he can finish, a hulk-like, veiny, muscular, giant transgender man storms in, straps him to the interview desk with velvet cuffs, drips hot wax on his back from a candle shaped like a massive dick, and rams his ass relentlessly while whispering, "Welcome to the team, bitch. Your probation starts now."
Why don’t Mexicans have an Olympic team? Because everyone who can run, jump, and swim are in the USA.
Why are orphans bad at baseball?
Because they don’t know what a home is.
Why was Jesus Christ cut from the hockey team?
He kept getting nailed to the boards.
What do you call 2 nuns and a prostitute that play football?
Two tight ends and a wide receiver.
Why can’t orphans have phones?
Because it has a home button.
Why don’t orphans play baseball?
Because they can’t get a home run.
What do you call a kid on the track team who isn't on the track team?
A school shooter.
So an orphan played for a football team, and the coach said, "Your parents must be proud of you!" 🤣🤣🤣🤣
What helped the Lakers win the Finals? Kobe's passing!
What do you call a group of depressed teenagers?
Suicide Squad.
Why can't orphans sign up for sports?
They have to have a parent's signature.
What's the similarities between the New York Jets and the World Trade Center?
They both fall in September.
You're so goddamn stupid, you thought Dunkin' Donuts was a basketball team.
Why do people play soccer?
Because people need to kick harder to win a parent.
Yo mama so fat that the Avengers team had to snap five times and say, "Oh my God!"
How do baseballs communicate?
They touch base!
My little league football debut was a lot like the first time I had sex. I was beaten, bruised, and bloody, but at least my Dad came.
When you have to fight an emo kid, but he brings his friends, so you gotta fight the Suicide Squad. But you gotta get the boys to help you.
In Rocket League, you don't care who wins game MVP as long as it's not somebody on the other team.
Yo mama so Irish that she thought the Chicago Shamrox were a Quadball team.