Teacher

Teacher jokes

Attention

  • Little Johnny was not paying attention in class, so the teacher told him, "Do you know what happens when you don't pay attention?"

    Little Johnny said, "No, what?"

    She answered, "The principal's office."

    Then little Johnny said, "Hey teach, do you know what it means when you have balls on your chin?"

    The teacher answered, "No, what?"

    "You have a d!ck in your mouth!"

  • 0
  • AK

  • Teacher: Alright kids. 50, 49, 48, 47. What comes before 47?

    Kid: AK!

    Everyone else: πŸšͺ πŸƒπŸΎβ€β™€οΈπŸƒπŸ½πŸƒπŸΏπŸƒπŸΎβ€β™€οΈπŸƒπŸ½πŸƒπŸΏπŸƒπŸΏπŸƒπŸΏβ€β™€οΈ πŸŽ’ πŸƒπŸ»

  • 0
  • Pants

  • Lil Johnny went to school and said, "Teacher, if you let me poop my pants, I will let you have my dad and his money. Will you do it, Mrs. Johnson?"

  • 0
  • Demon Slayer

  • My teacher: If you could go anywhere, where would you go?

    Me: Demon Slayer.

    My teacher: Why?

    The quiet kid: TO GET EATEN BY A DEMON OR BECOME ONE!!!

  • 2
  • School

  • Sarah goes to school, and the teacher says, "Today we are going to learn multi-syllable words, class. Does anybody have an example of a multi-syllable word?" Sarah waves her hand, "Me, Miss Rogers, me, me!" Miss Rogers says, "All right, Sarah, what is your multi-syllable word?" Sarah says, "Mas-tur-bate." Miss Rogers smiles and says, "Wow, Sarah, that's a mouthful." Sarah says, "No, Miss Rogers, you're thinking of a blowjob."

  • 1
  • Kid

  • Kid starts short-coming people in school. Teacher asks, "Why are you doing that?"

    He responds, "I wanted to paint the walls red for Christmas!"

  • 1
  • Pants

  • One day, little Billy came in, pulling up his pants. The teacher asks, "Where have you been, Billy?" He says, "On top of Beverly Hill." A few minutes later, little Willy came in. The teacher asked, "Where have you been?" He says, "On top of Beverly Hill." Ten minutes later, little Johnny came in. The teacher says again, "Where have you been?" He says, "On top of Beverly Hill." A few minutes later, a girl came in. The teacher says, "Who are you?" She says, "I'm Beverly Hill."

  • 7
  • Stutter

  • "What's your name, son?" the principal asked his student. The kid replied, "D-d-d-dav-dav-david, sir." "Do you have a stutter?" the principal asked. The student answered, "No sir, my dad has a stutter, but the guy who registered my name was a real jerk."

  • 4
  • Sex

  • Little Johnny was playing with dick when his teacher walked in the room. She asked him what he was doing, he said Im doing my homework. The teacher saw how big his cock was and asked him to have sex with her. He willingly did so. Little johnny was already 25 so it didn't matter. The only thing was that he was homeschooled.

  • 9
  • Preschool

  • In preschool, I confessed my love to my crush, and she rejected me. As heartbroken as I was, I sucked it up and went back to teaching.

  • 1
  • Jesus

  • The Sunday school teacher is a little concerned that his kids might be a little confused about Jesus, so he asks his class, β€œWhere is Jesus today?”

    Little Suzy replies, β€œHe’s in heaven.”

    Little Mary replies, β€œHe’s in my heart.”

    Little Johnny says, β€œHe’s in the bathroom!”

    The teacher says, β€œHow do you know this?”

    Then little Johnny says, β€œWell, every morning my father gets up, bangs on the bathroom door, and yells, β€œJesus Christ are you still in there!?””

  • 6
  • Shit

  • Teacher: Johnny, can you use a sentence with "definitely" in it?

    Little Johnny: Do farts have lumps in them?

    Teacher: Of course not, Johnny.

    Little Johnny: Then I’ve definitely shat myself.

  • 4
  • Pencil

  • Little Johnny was sitting in class, and he was behind a girl called Sally. The teacher asks the class, "Who created the Earth?" And Little Johnny pokes Sally in the back with his sharpened pencil, and she jumps and says, "MY GOD!" And the teacher says, "Yes, Sally, God did create the Earth." Sally sits down.

    Then, the teacher asks, "Where do you go after you live a good life?" and Little Johnny pokes Sally again, and she jumps up and says, "HEAVENS TO BETSY!" And the teacher says, "Yes Sally. You will go to heaven after you live a good life." Sally sits down, knowing full well Little Johnny was poking her. Sally gave Little Johnny an angry glare, and she turns around.

    And then, the teacher asks the class, "What did Eve say to Adam after their 77th child?" and Little Johnny pokes Sally HARDER this time in the back, and Sally jumps, turns around and says, "If you stick that thing in me one more time, I swear I'm gonna lose it!" And the teacher faints.

  • 50
  • Community talk

  • ima clock mrs fritzler dude. like sit your fattass down. don't give me that stank ass test mrs pizler. stupid hoe maybe go run a mile instead of giving me homework equivilent to your body weight. fattass. your hairline is more fucked up than the kid in a mental hospital fattass. i could see that 250 chin from a fucking plane 30000 feet in the hair. instead of giving me a lecture stop eating fucking mcdonalds. intead … Read more

  • I love the fact that a teacher at my school got fired for making comments on Charlie Kirk. Oh wait, I do love that fact. What I don't love is the fact that teachers at my own school say that kind of stuff.