Talk jokes

My science teacher was talking about natural selection.

At one point, she asked me to name the first person to theorize about it. I said, "Eric Harris." It was on his shirt.

If you don't get the joke, look up "Eric Harris natural selection."

Guy and Girl are in the shower talking to each other.

Guy: Let's drop the soap.

Girl: Let's do it!

My girlfriend asked me to hand her lipstick, but I accidentally passed her a glue stick. She still isn't talking to me.

I see my friends at school. They talk to me, they go back to class, but they forgot I am their classmate, and they were like, "You're a dumbie." And I was, "Well, you're a dumbass, bi***!"

What did the acute triangle say to the obtuse triangle?

Nothing, triangles can't talk.

What do you call a fat Chinese person that talks way too much? Panda Express.

Why couldn’t the dinosaurs talk? Because they were dead.

Me: No one likes Shrek; he is just a fat green guy.

Friend: Hey! Stop talking about me.

Yo head so big I can skate on yo head.

I'm talking bout real real big, set a plate on yo head, charge a phone on yo head, build a home on yo head, studio wide, write a song on yo head.

Stephen Hawking talks by clicks. Two clicks is "hi," and five is "dab me up."

"Gwen, can we talk..."

Freshfry, are you there? I really want to talk to you!

Love, Gwen.

Tina, we neeeeeeed to talk, please!

-Alya

Freshfry, my friend, please talk to me!

To Drew the Devil,

We NEED to talk RN. I'm very mad at you, and we need to talk.

Angry Alex

One day I went to talk to my friend.

"Hi John!" I said.

No response.

"Oh, yeah."

I went to pick up the remote and clicked the unmute button.

"Hope that helps!"

When we talk of our X, some people talk of their XXX. 🤣

Two people stood in one room. The first guy stared at the second.

First guy: “Sorry I had to punch you. It was a game, bro.”

Second guy: “Between me and you talking, there’s almost no PUNCH line. Hah!”

Me talks to an orphan: Hey, I have a joke.

Orphan: Go on then.

Me: Your family tree.

What do you call a phone that talks?

A reader in a leader.