New Talk Jokes - Page 18 - Worst Jokes Ever

what did the egg say to the other egg? Nothing, they cant talk

I met another kid with Down syndrome the other day and attempted to talk to him. But my mom showed up and was asking me why I am talking to the mirror.

The other day, my wife asked me to pass her lipstick, but I accidentally passed her a glue stick. She still isn’t talking to me.

When someone keeps talking while you are trying to focus on something, what is the rudest thing you can say to them?

SHUT UP!!!

Son:Daddy? Dad: Why tf do you keep calling me daddy, Your 11 years old feminine gay hoe Son: Whoa!? Daddy whats that Dad: Wtf are you talking about? Son: Your dick has it goten more tastier? Son: Ooh... I..... Just.... Wanna.... Sssuuc Dad: ooh nope im not havin a gay hoe's feind in my house no quit lookin at my dick you need some pussy Son: eeeeeewwwwwwwwwww nooooo plz no plz Dad: Shut the fuck up: ehr em Mom: What the fugde is going on? Dad: Our sons a gay bitch Mom Launguage' so? i need to teach him how to like a girl huh? Dad: Yes Ma'am Plz Mom: Okay Mom: Herman Getch'er gay ass in my bed but naked i'll be there in 10 Son: wha whey huh ur gonna... wtf?!?!?!?? Mom: Quit cursing im gonna fuck u extra hard!! Son: Ewww imm gonna fuck my mom even though she is hot sexy but eeewwww Mom: Shut it!!!, or imma recordid and *fliped her hair taking off her panies(pussy naked)* And show this to ur gay fuck friends! Son: Huh Son: Mom FUCK U* Mom: Okay baby imma fuck u in a minute lemme tak my bra off Son:UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHH Son: moms are the worst are they? Me no there not sometimes but i love them teheheteheh

If Hillary and Biden got locked in a room together, all they would talk about is how to ruin America and make a plan to steal children.

what did the bird say to the other bird

nothing because birds cant talk

My son said that bully needs a pounding, then I say, "Yeah, right, that is what I said and did to your mother." My son opens his mouth and freezes. I guess he knew what I was talking about.

A bear and a rabbit are at a bar getting high smoking weed talking about nothing but lies and straight up garbage. and then the bear starts to drink too much damn liquor gets drunk and ask the rabbit can i have one more scotch pretty please? And the rabbit says hell to the naw I'm not about to carry your drunk ass home with me and smell your breath.

A young boy was talking to his friend about his family:

"My great-grandfather fought against Napoleon, my grandfather fought against the English, my father fought against the Americans, and my uncle against the Argentinians."

The friend replied: "It seems that your family can't get along with anybody!"

I was talking to my friend, and he said, "I lost my virginity to a girl, and then she stopped coming to school." And I said, "Probably because she was fired."

My sister said I'm stupid and I'm a baby, and I said, "Oh, I didn't know we were talking about you."

Once upon a time there was a poor man, a middle class man, and a rich man. They were all talking about how they found happiness in their lives. The rich man said "I found happiness through money and all of my assets." The middle class man said "I found happiness through my steady job and my loving household." The poor man said "I may not have much, but I find my happiness through the little acts of kindness people show me." And then the wall fell on them.

Why does Megan sound like a man, but she is a good singer and rapper, but then people talk about her? What's y'all rapper are singer?

A mom gave her son "the talk". Her son replies, "Wait, so there really isn't candy involved? Guess Grandpa lied."

Ok, so I'm bored, depressed, and lonely. Someone wanna talk?

One night, I saw a woman sitting behind a dumpster. So I took her home. We talked all the way there. When we got home, I gave her a bath. Later on, things started getting passionate. We started doing intercourse, and some of the noises she made you would have thought she was still alive!