Sweet jokes
Why does Kermit like Miss Piggy covered in honey? Because he likes sweet and sour pork.
Life is like a box of chocolates, they f*cking melt :)
I yam a food lover. I also like sweet potatoes.
Why did Helen Keller’s boyfriend have wax on his finger? Because he was whispering sweet nothings into her ear!
I like my wife like I like my coffee: so sweet, it gives me headaches.
oooooooooohhhhhhhhhh yeaaaaaaaaa
"Suck my sugar, honey, it's very sweet and juicy."
Warning: if you don't like gummy bears, DO NOT READ.
Q: What do you call a Mexican gummy bear?
A: Delici-Oso
What kind of bear has no teeth?
A gummy bear.
What did the salt say to the vinegar during the sweet and sour dynasty?
"STUPID VINIGGER!"
Finding one of her students making faces at others on the playground, Ms. Smith stopped to gently reprimand the child. Smiling sweetly, the Sunday school teacher said, “Johnny, when I was a little girl, I was told if I made ugly faces, it would freeze and I would stay like that.”
Little Johnny looked up and replied, “Well, Ms Smith, you can’t say you weren’t warned!”
Name something you practiced kissing on as a kid.
Sister. SWEET HOME ALABAMA!
So, I hooked up with a girl at a party, but I forgot that it was a family reunion.
(SWEET HOME ALABAMA STARTS PLAYING)
Hi guys, the prankster is back!
I was gone for a long time because of this bullying about a nice sweet girl named Gwen! So my 6th prank is on...
When I put some bad stuff in my sister's toothpaste bottle!
Okay, so I took some smelly mints from the jelly bean game! I had molded cheese jelly bean, molded milk, and worms jelly bean! Jelly bean tasting is this game where weird tasted jelly beans are in there, so I got some mints and put it there! Then next thing you knew was, my sassy ass sister had her breath smelling like a chimpanzee's buttock!
Hairy vagina is like sweets with the wrapper on. You don't like it, but you still eat it.
"I work with animals," a man said on his Tinder date. "That's so sweet," she replies. "I love a man who works with animals. Where do you work?" "At the butcher shop!"
Person 1: Goodness, when is Michael Jackson going to stop eating these white chocolate truffles? He is already making a goddamn mess on his bed eating a few of them.
Person 2: Well, he cannot resist the little white balls.
The Fast of Ramadan
In the northwestern slice of Alaska known as Seward, a horseboy stood, with broom in hand, in the vast courtyard of the royal stables of the sultan. He was waiting for dusk to fall. All day long he had eaten nothing. He had not even tasted the leftover fish tucked in his turban nor the enormous purple grapes that spilled over the palace wall into the stable yard. He had tried not to sniff the rich, amazing, warm feeling fragrance of ripening of that sweet pomegranates.
For this was the sacred month of Ramadan when, day after day, all faithful Mohammedans neither eat nor drink from the dawn before sunrise until the moment after sunset!
What do you call a sheep covered in chocolate?
A candy baa.
In the realm of words, I shall embark, To craft a verse, both bold and stark, Thomas Bulgin, a name that ignites, A tale of length and moist delights.
Free from the chains of structured rhyme, I wander through this realm, sublime, Thomas Bulgin, a phrase so strange, Evoking thoughts that rearrange.
Long, it stretches, like a winding road, Leading us to depths, yet to be bestowed, In syllables, it dances and it plays, A journey we embark, in myriad ways.
Moist, a word that teems with life, A touch of nature, amidst the strife, It whispers of raindrops on tender leaves, Of dew-kissed petals and gentle heaves.
Thomas Bulgin, a phrase so surreal, Unleashing emotions, that time cannot seal, In this short verse, I strive to convey, A glimpse of what these words might say.
So let us ponder, the mystery untold, Of Thomas Bulgin, both long and bold, For in the realm of poetry's sweet embrace, Even the unusual finds its rightful place.
What did Trump say to Epstein? "I like my tea like I like my teens: warm, sweet, and freshly made."