What is the difference between your girlfriend and your sister?
They're both "sweet home Alabama."
What did Trump say to Epstein? "I like my tea like I like my teens: warm, sweet, and freshly made."
BF: Babe, I have two questions.
GF: Ok, ask!
BF: Where have you been all my life?
GF: Aww, that's so sweet. And the second question?
BF: Can you please go back there?
What is the opposite of a lady finger?
Answer: Mentos.
What do you call a Mexican in the zombie apocalypse?
Answer: "Sweet and spicy chicken."
What do you call a bear without teeth? A gummy bear hahaha.
You guys are better than a triple-scoop ice cream cone... with sprinkles!
Q) What’s the difference between a baby and a sweet potato?
A) About 400 calories
What candy loves shooting stars? Starbursts!
Why does Miss Piggy douche with honey?
Because Kermit likes his pork sweet and sour.
Someone complimented my parking today! They left a sweet note on my windshield that said, “Parking fine.”
Which train is loaded with bubble gum?
A chew-chew train.
When you ask your mom for candy but you grab from the wrong drawer...
The other day I went on a romantic cruise in Hawaii. Then I met my girl Zendaya on board. She was shaking her ass and playing with her penis. Then she asked me, "Hey, you wanna make love in the cabin?" I said, "Sure, sweet thang," gave me her number, kissed me on the cheek. Next day she woke up because it was a romantic nightmare.
People should've recognized that Jared Fogle was a sick offender by one coded Subway sandwich; he normally claimed to kids he ate the sweet onion chicken teriyaki when it was the tuna sub.
Tuna sub was the message of the target to the kid since "tuna sub" put together makes "tunasub" and the truth comes when you spell it in reverse ("busanut")!
Today was a bittersweet day...
Bad news is my friend was assaulted. Good news is I successfully sneak attacked someone!
Why did the plum put sugar under its pillow?
So it could have sweet dreams.
Why are they called s’mores?
Because you always want another one!
"Sweet victory" fans: Fuck the NFL. They should be disbanded!
Harvey Weinstein: I raped five girls, and the NFL was one of them.
BFF: Dude, come over to my house right now!
Me: What? No way, it's 2:58 AM.
BFF: But I just found my brother's secret stash of Oreos!
Me: I'll be over in 5 minutes.
