What is the difference between your girlfriend and your sister?
They're both "sweet home Alabama."
What did Trump say to Epstein? "I like my tea like I like my teens: warm, sweet, and freshly made."
What is the opposite of a lady finger?
Answer: Mentos.
What do you call a Mexican in the zombie apocalypse?
Answer: "Sweet and spicy chicken."
What do you call a bear without teeth? A gummy bear hahaha.
You guys are better than a triple-scoop ice cream cone... with sprinkles!
Today was a bittersweet day...
Bad news is my friend was assaulted. Good news is I successfully sneak attacked someone!
What candy loves shooting stars? Starbursts!
When you ask your mom for candy but you grab from the wrong drawer...
Which train is loaded with bubble gum?
A chew-chew train.
Someone complimented my parking today! They left a sweet note on my windshield that said, “Parking fine.”
Why does Miss Piggy douche with honey?
Because Kermit likes his pork sweet and sour.
Q) What’s the difference between a baby and a sweet potato?
A) About 400 calories.
The other day I went on a romantic cruise in Hawaii. Then I met my girl Zendaya on board. She was shaking her ass and playing with her penis. Then she asked me, "Hey, you wanna make love in the cabin?" I said, "Sure, sweet thang," gave me her number, kissed me on the cheek. Next day she woke up because it was a romantic nightmare.
People should've recognized that Jared Fogle was a sick offender by one coded Subway sandwich; he normally claimed to kids he ate the sweet onion chicken teriyaki when it was the tuna sub.
Tuna sub was the message of the target to the kid since "tuna sub" put together makes "tunasub" and the truth comes when you spell it in reverse ("busanut")!
BF: Babe, I have two questions.
GF: Ok, ask!
BF: Where have you been all my life?
GF: Aww, that's so sweet. And the second question?
BF: Can you please go back there?
Why did the plum put sugar under its pillow?
So it could have sweet dreams.
Why are they called s’mores?
Because you always want another one!
"Sweet victory" fans: Fuck the NFL. They should be disbanded!
Harvey Weinstein: I raped five girls, and the NFL was one of them.
"I work with animals," a man said on his Tinder date. "That's so sweet," she replies. "I love a man who works with animals. Where do you work?" "At the butcher shop!"
