Sweet jokes
There was this kid who was going to take a girl to the dance. He had fancy clothes, fancy shoes, etc. Finally, the day of the dance came. He happily drove over to the girl's house. When he got there, he said to her father, "thank you for this moment, have a great night".
At the dance, the girl asks the boy, "can I have some food?" He gladly replies "yes" and walks over to the food trucks, only to see a huge line. So he waits in line for like 30 minutes. He comes back to the girl, and she says, "thank you so much, I really needed something to eat". Then she asks for some sweets and a soda. Again the boy waits in line for about 30-45 minutes. Then he comes back, and she says, "thank you SOOOO much". Then she says she has one more request. The boy, (now clearly agitated) says, "what is it?" She says, can I have some punch? SO the boy walks over to the punch table, but to his surprise, there was no punch line.
Why did Helen Keller’s boyfriend have wax on his finger? Because he was whispering sweet nothings into her ear!
What is the opposite of a lady finger?
Answer: Mentos.
What do you call a Mexican in the zombie apocalypse?
Answer: "Sweet and spicy chicken."
What do you call a bear without teeth? A gummy bear hahaha.
Memes
me when i just ate
You guys are better than a triple-scoop ice cream cone... with sprinkles!
Today was a bittersweet day...
Bad news is my friend was assaulted. Good news is I successfully sneak attacked someone!
Q) What’s the difference between a baby and a sweet potato?
A) About 400 calories.
Why does Miss Piggy douche with honey?
Because Kermit likes his pork sweet and sour.
Someone complimented my parking today! They left a sweet note on my windshield that said, “Parking fine.”
Which train is loaded with bubble gum?
A chew-chew train.
What candy loves shooting stars? Starbursts!
When you ask your mom for candy but you grab from the wrong drawer...
In the words of Kerk Cobane: "Check this sweet no scope!"
The other day I went on a romantic cruise in Hawaii. Then I met my girl Zendaya on board. She was shaking her ass and playing with her penis. Then she asked me, "Hey, you wanna make love in the cabin?" I said, "Sure, sweet thang," gave me her number, kissed me on the cheek. Next day she woke up because it was a romantic nightmare.
People should've recognized that Jared Fogle was a sick offender by one coded Subway sandwich; he normally claimed to kids he ate the sweet onion chicken teriyaki when it was the tuna sub.
Tuna sub was the message of the target to the kid since "tuna sub" put together makes "tunasub" and the truth comes when you spell it in reverse ("busanut")!
BF: Babe, I have two questions.
GF: Ok, ask!
BF: Where have you been all my life?
GF: Aww, that's so sweet. And the second question?
BF: Can you please go back there?
Why did the plum put sugar under its pillow?
So it could have sweet dreams.
Why are they called s’mores?
Because you always want another one!
Roses are red. Violets are blue. Sugar is sweet. And your mom is, too.