Surprise

Surprise jokes

Brain

    • The brain named itself, and when the brain realized that it named itself, it was surprised.

    But maybe, it was a spelling mistake and the brain wanted the name Brian. We all have a little Brian in us!

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    Family

    • Son: Dad, I think I got a girl pregnant.

    Dad: Well, is she already part of the family?

    Son: Yes, why?

    Dad: Then there’s no need to be worried.

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    • Adoption

    • Son: Dad, I know I'm adopted.

    Dad: Well, how do you know?

    Son: I found the adoption papers.

    Dad: That is for your mum.

    If you know, you know.

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    • Adoption

    • Dad: "Honey, I'll be right back. I need to get some papers."

    Me: "Okay." *Falls asleep.*

    *Wakes up in an adoption center.*

    Damn, it was those kind of papers.

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    Flight

    • I was working at a check-in station for a flight to Riyadh when suddenly I was approached by Benzema, Kante, and Neymar!

    At first I was very surprised and curious, so I asked them why they decided to play in the Saudi Pro League and not MLS where GOAT Messi plays. They all smiled and happily replied: "Don't you know, the legendary bench warmer PRISTIANO PENALDO plays there!"

    Now I fully understood what they meant! They know that Pristiano is already finished, so winning trophies will be easy for them. I smiled and happily let them through.

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    • Tree

    • Mia: I'm pregnant again, Paul. I can't wait for you to come home.

    Paul: I got a tree to hit on the way.

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    Uncle

    • Your girlfriend/boyfriend says: "I'm dating your uncle..." You start crying and you look under the bed and your uncle says: "Damn."

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    Ronaldo

    • It was an important knockout game for Al Nassr. I came to Riyad to see my idol Cristiano Ronaldo play. It was my dream for a long time. I took a cab to the stadium, but the driver dropped me off at a haunted house instead.

    As soon as I entered the house, I saw a ghost, but the very next moment I realized it's my idolo Ronaldo. Thank you Ronaldo for meeting me!

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    • Dad

    • Hey Siri, where is my dad?

    Your dad is in a strip club in Las Vegas.

    HAH, jokes on you! My dad’s in the kitchen!

    Your mom’s husband is in the kitchen, your dad is in a strip club in Las Vegas.

    ...WhAT-

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    Preschool

    • In preschool, I confessed my love to my crush, and she rejected me. As heartbroken as I was, I sucked it up and went back to teaching.

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    • Bike

    • “My Mum told me the best time to ask my Dad for anything was during sex. Not the best advice I’d ever been given.

    I burst in through the bedroom door saying, ‘Can I have a new bike?’ He was very upset. His secretary was surprisingly nice about it. I got the bike.”

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    Trans

    • There was a girl I used to date, only to find out that she used to be a man. You could say, she put me in a trans.

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