New Surprise Jokes - Page 7 - Worst Jokes Ever

I was gardening and found a chest full of blood... i forgot i was in the cemetery

On my 21st Birthday my mom told me I got a nice birthday present for you. As the son and only child your going to to get something good and something you been looking forward to is what my mom said. Me my mom and my on;y friend celebrate my Birthday then we all went to sleep I woke up the next day I ask hey where my gift you said you got me. My mom said since your father left us you have have no father figure in your life. So this is your new step father the only thing it was my only friend.

Knock knock who’s there bikini bikini who oh that was just a bikini

It was Christmas time for Little Johnny. He was going to make some cookies and milk for Santa until he heard shaking and moaning from his mother's bedroom. He thinks, "Meh, Dad's probably back from the grocery store". But 2 seconds later, he heard a "Ho Ho Ho Oh YEAH" and then a slap. He opens the door. He finds Santa riding on his 19 yr old mom. He asks, "Santa, when did you get here and WHAT are you doing?". Santa replied, "Your mother asked for her 'milk jar' to be filled, and that's what I am doing." Johnny says, "Oh." "But, Mom, you told me Dad was here, well where is he?"

(Santa winks at you)

A toddler, was giving her daddy a tea party She brought him a little cup of "tea" which was just water, of course. After several cups of tea , her Mom came home, Dad made her wait in the living room to watch his little Princess bring him a cup of tea, because it was, "Just the cutest thing!" Mom waited, and sure enough, here she come down the hall with a cup of tea for Daddy. She watches him drink it up and then says, "You know the only place she can reach water, is the toilet!

Little Johnny was late to school one day and miss brown asks, Johnny how come ur late to class and Johnny says, Miss, u wouldn’t believe it, the farmers bull got out and started fucking the white cow miss brown said Johnny don’t use that word next time you want to say that use the word “surprised”. The next day Johnny was late again and miss brown said Johnny why are you late and Johnny replied miss you wouldn’t believe it the farmers bull got out and “surprised” the whit cow, miss brown said that’s much better Jonny and Johnny said yeah walked straight passed it and started fucking the black one

Once an orphan purposly fell out of a tree, he forgot his parents wouldnt catch him

Me: hey do you want to see my grandma. Friend: yeah sure Me: *pulls out gun*

Me- *crying in the shower* Also me- *why is my toaster in here?*

Kidnapping is just surprise adoption, congrats! You are now all my children! Just hop into the portal that leads to the Lust ring in hell-

wasn’t planning on going for a run today, but those cops came out of nowhere

When I see lovers' names carved on a tree, I don't think it's sweet. I just think it's surprising how many people bring a knife on a date.

I was going on a date when I decided to put on Penaldo’s PR7 cologne to smell good. As I put on the cologne, my skin started to turn invisible! I then realized the cologne had made me turn into a ghost 👻. Shame on you Penaldo for ruining my date 😡

Jack and Jill went up the hill so Jack could lick Jill's candy. Jack got a shock and a mouth full of cock because Jill's real name is Randy.

My mother was so sad after my grandpa's death, she went into the bathroom with my uncle, and I could hear their moans of sorrow. She then surprised me later on, saying that she was pregnant.

I was on the Official Cristiano Ronaldo website, when suddenly my Anti-Virus software showed an alert on my screen! The notification read "WARNING: FRAUD DETECTED!" I was shocked but not surprised. Penaldo has been finished for years after all, and he often ghosts in big games.

Little Johnny said he wanted a coffee. SO his mom said he can have one. He got an esspresso not knowing depresso came with it.

i asked my mom what her biggest regret was for a project at school and she said oh go look in the bathroom above the sink.........there was a mirror

I took my son to a drivers school and am surprised because he got his license but soon lost the privilege to drive a car because he ran over my ex on "accident" (I gotta go pay him out of jail)