Support jokes
My dad told me "No electronics at the table," so I unplugged my grandma's life support.
My son came to me depressed, so I pointed to the spare bedroom and said, "Hang in here, son."
The depressed kid walked into the counselor's office.
"I'm feeling like killing myself," he said.
"Oh no! Don't worry, sweetie, just hang in there!," the counselor responded.
Why couldn't Sally get back up? Because she has no friends.
Roses are red, Violets are blue, In every step you take, My support stays true.
Roses are red, Violets are blue, When life gets tough, I'll stand by you.
My only friend who actually cares: "Stop making suicide jokes, I’m really concerned!"
Me: Okay, I’ll cut it out.
There are too many suicidal people in this world. I’m going to make sure there is at least one less.
I turned the light on, and my dad said turn it off, so I unplugged his life support.
How to get rid of your depression:
1. Stop self-pitying.
2. Realize you can't.
3. Fucking deal with it.
You're welcome.
Son: Dad, I think I got a girl pregnant.
Dad: Well, is she already part of the family?
Son: Yes, why?
Dad: Then there’s no need to be worried.
What's the difference between you and a bench?
A bench can hold a family.
I just wanted to say to never let go of family; they are everything. Never let anyone walk all over you. And if you are with me, like this quote.
What's the difference between me and a rope?
A rope will hang with you.
One day a man buys a rope to commit suicide, but his friend stops him.
They go to a school with lots of happy kids. The guy feels better after a mag.
A depressed man buys a gun for suicide, but then thinks, "maybe I shouldn't be doing this," and asks a friend for help. He returns with a rope.
What's the difference between friends and family?
One is actually real.
My grandpa told me I was too dependent on devices. I told him he was a hypocrite and unplugged him from his life support.
A girl in the shop was getting bullied. She came to me saying, "I’m getting bullied." I told her, "Stand up for herself."
If an orphan wins the lottery, what do they have to use all of it on?
Years of child support!