What kind of bug lives in a graveyard?
A zom-BEE.
It's best not to say "Hail Satan" because he can't control the weather!
What do you call a midget psychic that has escaped from prison?
A small medium at large.
What do you call a ghost's fart?
A spirit bomb.
What room does a ghost not want to be in?
The living room.
Did you know ghosts are alcoholics?
They only come out for the boos.
Why do ghosts love elevators? They lift their spirits!
Mary is hanging out, and the angel Gabriel descends behind her. She looks behind her and says, "Jesus Christ!" and the angel Gabriel said, "So you already know."
Why doesn't the witch wear panties?
To get a better grip on her broom stick!
What do you call an overweight psychic?
A four chin teller.
God: ok, what if I made an evil land octopus that could walk on walls?
My friend: What are you doing?
Me: I'm making holy water.
My friend: How?
Me: I'm boiling the hell out of it.
There is a ghost baseball game and one team loses because of one player so they start booing him!
What does a lesbian vampire say to the other lesbian vampire?
"Same time next month?"
Yo mamma so ugly that even God said, "Be gone, DEMON!"
What do you call a dwarf with ESP that escaped a prison?
A small medium at large.
What do you call a chicken that catches ghosts? A poultrygeist.
Why did the vampire go to the doctor?
Because of his coffin.
How do you know a vampire's sick?
If he's coffin (coughing?)
I don't have luck with other angels.
So I just WING IT!
