Supernatural jokes
What kind of shit does a ghost take every time? A spooky dookie!
I killed 5 zombies and stabbed a vampire with a steak, and then I started to wonder why they were carrying bags of candy.
Went to see a psychic the other day.
I knocked on the door, and she said, "Who is it?"
So I turned around and left.
You're so ugly that every time you look up in the sky, God says, "Sorry, can't help you."
What do you call an orphan living with ghosts?
"Him and his dead family." :(
Did you fall from Heaven? Because so did Satan.
An LDS preacher knocks on the door with a chalice of wine offering to do the sacrament.
The person living there points and says, "Begone, foul blood-drinker!"
And promptly the preacher bursts into flames, leaving nothing but ash.
Ever heard of a reverse exorcism? It’s when the Devil tells the priest to exit the child’s body.
What kind of poops do ghosts take? A spooky dookie.
What’s the opposite of an exorcism?
It’s when Satan has to tell the priest to come out of the child.
Do you know what a reverse exorcism is?
It's when the demon tells the priest to exit the child's body.
Myrtle Beach has a clear blue sky and sunny weather, a pleasant place to visit as a family. Don't you think they are not evil creatures, and do you think they have them?
"No, there are no ghosts or evil creatures." You can say that, but don't be surprised when Gina Claw Scare comes for you, aka GCS for short. Gina Claw Scare was born in North Carolina in August 1991. She died in 2000. No, that's not real. WRONG. Gina's real name was Gina Clawien Scaren. Yes, that's why her name is Gina Claw Scare. Why did she die? I know, right? She died from a curse from her bad companions. We never knew their names. The curse sent her down a dark path, demons and hate comments from people on Instagram, Facebook, and the worst jokes on the site.
Gina Claw Scare loved fire, which means she was a pyromaniac. She would rise from the grave in which she was buried. Did what? Stop, for real this time!
They buried her on a lawn in the forest that caught fire. "HARSH MAN!" I know, right? She rises from that grave, she comes for the people who call her by name four times. Then she beat the drums and set your house on fire! A fire so harmful that you can feel hurt, friends. You can hear everyone's screaming, and then become like her. Never say her name. NEVER.
What is a ghost's favorite cake?
I scream cake!
Why can't ghosts stay happy? Because they are too skeletal.
"My dick fell off in the shower!" suddenly a bright flash of white lights. You see God smiling at you. "Joseph, where is your wiener, little one?" He says, chuckling lightly.
What happens to Mary Poppins when the wind dies down?
*Mary Poppins seen falling in background*
A man is in purgatory. He says he suddenly was shocked by something, so he died.
The guard at purgatory says: "I can give you one more chance to live!"
He revives the man. The man gets up, but something doesn't feel right... He looks in the mirror to see what's wrong. He closes his eyes and hears something.
Guard: "Welcome back! You found the problem!"
Bob: Siri, call 666!
*dialing noises*
Bob: Hello?
Bob's dad: Hi!
What do you call a reverse exorcism?
It's where a demon pulls a priest out of a child.
I tried to get my blood sucked by a vampire, but he said I was too empty inside.