Success jokes
Why did the scarecrow get promoted?
He was outstanding in his field!
If you are a girl and your favorite movie as a kid was Mulan, they successfully made a man out of you.
What's the difference between Wacko Jacko and Elvis Presley?
14 number 1 hits.
Anyone go to Success Jonesboro, AR?
You know, it takes a lot of balls to successfully compete in women鈥檚 sports as a man.
Why are orphans always famous?
Because they say, "Go big or go home," and orphans only have one option.
Paddy's beautiful wife has not had an orgasm for the 15 years they have been married.
The doctor suggests that she may be overheating during sex, and a cool breeze may help.
Being a bit of a cheapo, he decides not to buy a fan but asks his friend Mick to waft a towel over them during the act.
After half an hour, still no sign of success, so his mate suggests swapping places. "I'll have a try, Paddy, you waft the towel."
Paddy agrees, and after two or three minutes, Paddy's wife has a moment of sexual pleasure, screaming in ecstasy for the first time in 15 years.
Paddy taps his mate Mick on the shoulder and says, "And that, Mick, is how you waft a bloody towel!"
Man 1: Hey, I heard you survived a school shooting. What was it like?
Man 2: People were screaming and running everywhere. I was only able to get a few of them.
Rainbows top the class, as they always score with flying colors.
EXPERIMENT SUCCESSFUL 馃槺馃槺 Scientists have created an element named Pessomium 馃槼馃槼
Characteristics: - Highly reactive only in Bolivia and Panama 馃槨馃が - Turns invisible when in Brazil or Uruguay 馃サ馃ぇ - Finished 馃樄馃 - 0 protons 0 electrons 0 goals 0 assists 7 debuts 馃ザ
Why did Miss Stephen get divorced? She didn't float, too.
"Slow and steady wins the race."
It鈥檚 about drive, it鈥檚 about power, We stay hungry, we devour, Put in the work, put in hours, And take what鈥檚 ours.
Baller.
What鈥檚 black and long?
The Chick-fil-A line.
Doctor: Congratulations!!!
Woman: Was it a successful delivery?
Doctor: No, it鈥檚 DiGiorno!
Why did the rapper climb a ladder during his performance?
He wanted to take his career to the NEXT LEVEL!
why was the bad baseball player so good at bowling?
He kept making strikes.
Bully: "Hey little Timmy, you look like an ugly rat."
Timmy: "Well, at least I'm a good chef and I'm in a movie, unlike you."
Bully: Dies from embarrassment. 馃槺
My boy is so distracted and the kids are doing great. I will be make $500000.