Success jokes

People say my dad left me and was never successful, but if you search up who destroyed the Twin Towers, he will pop up.

Also, my mom's great grandpa killed Hitler.

They used to laugh when I said I wanted to be a comedian.

Well, they're not laughing now!

This is a lot like anal sex.

You always miss 100% of the shots if you don't take it.

I was out ice fishing and had no nibbles all morning.

About noon, this old guy comes out, drills a hole near mine, and starts catching fish as fast as he can bait the hook. I was getting frustrated without any luck, so I went over to ask him his secret. He said "Ymd ggt tm kppp tth yaems womg."

I said, "Excuse me, I didn't get that?" so he mumbles even louder, "Ymd ggt tm kppp tth yaems womg!" I shook my head and said, "I'm sorry, but I still didn't understand what you said."

Frustrated, the man spits out a wad out of his mouth and says, "YOU HAVE TO KEEP THE WORMS WARM!"

OMG guys, I finally did it. I made a head slicey boy. I have headless.

"Nancy be like I sucked my way to the top."

If you can make a woman laugh, you're almost there.

If you're almost there and then she laughs, then you've got a whole different problem on your hands.

Who needs parents to be great?

I don't know what makes BlessedBrian so STUPID, but it REALLY works!

It's amazing how BLESSEDBRIAN manages to keep his head in the clouds while his FEET are FIRMLY PLANTED in mediocrity.

Some marriages can make short people look like Shaquille O'Neal.

I scored.

CEO Intrepid entrepreneur born in 1964, Jeffrey, Jeffrey Bezos.

Repeat, come on Jeffrey, you can do it, pave the way, put your back into it, tell us why, show us how, look at where you came from, look at you now.

Zuckerberg and Gates and Musk, they're the anchors, can make and sick it up there with drink their blood, come on Jeff get it! Dododoododododod

Anyone go to Success Jonesboro, AR?

Quote Of The Day:

It's okay to struggle.

It's not okay to give up.

Roblox jokes be like: hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm I should create a game.

*Creates game* bruh my game got to thousand hundred 700,000 likes!

😄😄😄

What do you call a pretty person who loves Rolls? A roll model.

Fuck people who are bigger than me physically, emotionally, mentally, economically, and socially.

If at first you can't succeed, then wait to be the last!

Kobe is a legend and is nothing to joke about. Wait till you crash and burn!