Success jokes

They used to laugh when I said I wanted to be a comedian.

Well, they're not laughing now!

People say my dad left me and was never successful, but if you search up who destroyed the Twin Towers, he will pop up.

Also, my mom's great grandpa killed Hitler.

This is a lot like anal sex.

You always miss 100% of the shots if you don't take it.

I was out ice fishing and had no nibbles all morning.

About noon, this old guy comes out, drills a hole near mine, and starts catching fish as fast as he can bait the hook. I was getting frustrated without any luck, so I went over to ask him his secret. He said "Ymd ggt tm kppp tth yaems womg."

I said, "Excuse me, I didn't get that?" so he mumbles even louder, "Ymd ggt tm kppp tth yaems womg!" I shook my head and said, "I'm sorry, but I still didn't understand what you said."

Frustrated, the man spits out a wad out of his mouth and says, "YOU HAVE TO KEEP THE WORMS WARM!"

OMG guys, I finally did it. I made a head slicey boy. I have headless.

Who needs parents to be great?

It's amazing how BLESSEDBRIAN manages to keep his head in the clouds while his FEET are FIRMLY PLANTED in mediocrity.

I don't know what makes BlessedBrian so STUPID, but it REALLY works!

"Nancy be like I sucked my way to the top."

Some marriages can make short people look like Shaquille O'Neal.

I scored.

If you can make a woman laugh, you're almost there.

If you're almost there and then she laughs, then you've got a whole different problem on your hands.

CEO Intrepid entrepreneur born in 1964, Jeffrey, Jeffrey Bezos.

Repeat, come on Jeffrey, you can do it, pave the way, put your back into it, tell us why, show us how, look at where you came from, look at you now.

Zuckerberg and Gates and Musk, they're the anchors, can make and sick it up there with drink their blood, come on Jeff get it! Dododoododododod

Three good friends decided to meet in their favorite caffe.

The meetup was a successful one, because they all enjoyed themselves.

Roblox jokes be like: hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm I should create a game.

*Creates game* bruh my game got to thousand hundred 700,000 likes!

😄😄😄

Kobe is a legend and is nothing to joke about. Wait till you crash and burn!

Why did the Scarecrow get a promotion?

Because it was OUTSTANDING in the field! 💀💀😂😂😂😂😂

Why did the orphan become famous? Because they said, "Go big or go home!"

If at first you can't succeed, then wait to be the last!

Anyone go to Success Jonesboro, AR?