Success jokes

I was in a maze and I got to the end and they congratulated me. I said that was a-maze-ing!

People say my dad left me and was never successful, but if you search up who destroyed the Twin Towers, he will pop up.

Also, my mom's great grandpa killed Hitler.

They used to laugh when I said I wanted to be a comedian.

Well, they're not laughing now!

I was out ice fishing and had no nibbles all morning.

About noon, this old guy comes out, drills a hole near mine, and starts catching fish as fast as he can bait the hook. I was getting frustrated without any luck, so I went over to ask him his secret. He said "Ymd ggt tm kppp tth yaems womg."

I said, "Excuse me, I didn't get that?" so he mumbles even louder, "Ymd ggt tm kppp tth yaems womg!" I shook my head and said, "I'm sorry, but I still didn't understand what you said."

Frustrated, the man spits out a wad out of his mouth and says, "YOU HAVE TO KEEP THE WORMS WARM!"

OMG guys, I finally did it. I made a head slicey boy. I have headless.

This is a lot like anal sex.

You always miss 100% of the shots if you don't take it.

"Nancy be like I sucked my way to the top."

I scored.

Some marriages can make short people look like Shaquille O'Neal.

If you can make a woman laugh, you're almost there.

If you're almost there and then she laughs, then you've got a whole different problem on your hands.

Who needs parents to be great?

It's amazing how BLESSEDBRIAN manages to keep his head in the clouds while his FEET are FIRMLY PLANTED in mediocrity.

I don't know what makes BlessedBrian so STUPID, but it REALLY works!

Kobe is a legend and is nothing to joke about. Wait till you crash and burn!

Why did the Scarecrow get a promotion?

Because it was OUTSTANDING in the field! 💀💀😂😂😂😂😂

Fuck people who are bigger than me physically, emotionally, mentally, economically, and socially.

What do you call a pretty person who loves Rolls? A roll model.

Anyone go to Success Jonesboro, AR?

Why did the orphan become famous? Because they said, "Go big or go home!"

If at first you can't succeed, then wait to be the last!