Success jokes

I was in a maze and I got to the end and they congratulated me. I said that was a-maze-ing!

People say my dad left me and was never successful, but if you search up who destroyed the Twin Towers, he will pop up.

Also, my mom's great grandpa killed Hitler.

They used to laugh when I said I wanted to be a comedian.

Well, they're not laughing now!

This is a lot like anal sex.

You always miss 100% of the shots if you don't take it.

I was out ice fishing and had no nibbles all morning.

About noon, this old guy comes out, drills a hole near mine, and starts catching fish as fast as he can bait the hook. I was getting frustrated without any luck, so I went over to ask him his secret. He said "Ymd ggt tm kppp tth yaems womg."

I said, "Excuse me, I didn't get that?" so he mumbles even louder, "Ymd ggt tm kppp tth yaems womg!" I shook my head and said, "I'm sorry, but I still didn't understand what you said."

Frustrated, the man spits out a wad out of his mouth and says, "YOU HAVE TO KEEP THE WORMS WARM!"

Chuck Norris once did a roundhouse kick... and successfully completed the bottle cap challenge.

OMG guys, I finally did it. I made a head slicey boy. I have headless.

"Nancy be like I sucked my way to the top."

Some marriages can make short people look like Shaquille O'Neal.

I scored.

Who needs parents to be great?

It's amazing how BLESSEDBRIAN manages to keep his head in the clouds while his FEET are FIRMLY PLANTED in mediocrity.

If you can make a woman laugh, you're almost there.

If you're almost there and then she laughs, then you've got a whole different problem on your hands.

I don't know what makes BlessedBrian so STUPID, but it REALLY works!

CEO Intrepid entrepreneur born in 1964, Jeffrey, Jeffrey Bezos.

Repeat, come on Jeffrey, you can do it, pave the way, put your back into it, tell us why, show us how, look at where you came from, look at you now.

Zuckerberg and Gates and Musk, they're the anchors, can make and sick it up there with drink their blood, come on Jeff get it! Dododoododododod

Quote Of The Day:

It's okay to struggle.

It's not okay to give up.

Fuck people who are bigger than me physically, emotionally, mentally, economically, and socially.

Anyone go to Success Jonesboro, AR?

Why did the Scarecrow get a promotion?

Because it was OUTSTANDING in the field! 💀💀😂😂😂😂😂

Why did the orphan become famous? Because they said, "Go big or go home!"