What did the buffalo say to his son when he left for college? -- "Bison."
Where do you learn to make ice cream? -- Sundae school.
How do you count cows? -- With a cowculator.
What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? -- A stick.
I know a woman who owns a taser. -- She's stunning!
How many Mexicans does it take to change a light bulb? -- Just Juan.
How does NASA organize a party? -- They planet.
What's the hardest part of a vegetable to eat? -- The wheelchair.
I was going to buy a pocket calculator. But then I thought, who cares how many pockets I have?
Why can't you starve in the desert? -- Because of all the sand which is there.
Why don't you ever see hippos hiding in trees? Because they are really good at it.
My boyfriend came over today and stole my milk. How dairy.
What's green, fuzzy, and if it falls out of a tree it will kill you? -- A pool table.
What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.
How does Moses prepare his tea? -- Hebrews it.
I wanted to learn how to drive a stick shift, but I couldn't find a manual.
What did the Indian boy say to his mother as he left for school? -- Mumbai!
People who are afraid of pedophiles... need to grow up.
Can a kangaroo jump higher than the Empire State Building? Of course. The Empire State Building can't jump.
He: "Do you smoke after sex?"
She: "I don't know. I've never looked."
