Why didn't the toilet paper cross the road? It got stuck in a crack.
Why did Jake cross the road? To get a Hagen Daz bar.
The ice cream man tried to murder me today.
Why'd Sally drop her ice cream?
She was hit by a bus.
Good sex sounds like a white man walking across the street with flip-flops on.
Two atoms are walking down the street, and they run into each other. One says to the other, "Are you all right?" "No, I lost an electron!" "Are you sure?" "Yeah, I’m positive!"
How does a prostitute make more than a drug dealer?
Because she can clean her crack and sell it again.
