Street jokes
What did the stop sign say to the street sign when he couldn't read a map?
"Can you give me some pointers?"
Stephen Hawking got an engine swap with a Nissan 350Z, and they said his wheelchair wasn't street legal :/
Yo' mama is so stupid, she put a quarter in a parking meter and waited for her gumball.
My sister was at Sixth Street and someone stepped on her toes and she bled, so she called the police! XD
Two pencils walking down the street.
Which one hasn’t got AIDS?
The one with the rubber on.
Why did the chicken want to cross the road? Because he was suicidal and wanted to get hit by a car.
Why did the boy get run over?
Sally was driving.
All doggies go to heaven - or so I've been told.
They run and play along the streets of Gold.
Why is heaven such a doggie-delight...
Why, because there's not a single cat in sight.
My friend and I were walking down the street, and we saw this one disabled kid getting bullied by three other kids. Urgently, we sprinted over to help. He had no chance against the five of us.
One day, I saw a kid sitting on the curb dressed in rags. I asked if he was an orphan. He said, "Yeah, what gave me away?" I said, "His parents."
I want to thank all the sidewalks out there for keeping me off the street.
There was this guy who asked a girl how much her hand jobs are. "$25k." How much are your blowjobs? "$50k." How much do you charge to have sex on the street? REPLY: "I would if I had a pussy."
Why did the chicken cross the road? Cuz he felt like it mind your f***ing business like damn.
Why did the orphan run into the street? To get to the other side of life.
I ran over my neighbor's cat last night, and I just want to say... that thing was fast! I had to run a red light to get it!
What happens when you combine candy and dick? That creepy guy down the street!
Why did the kid drop his ice cream cone?
He got ran over by a bus.
Am I the only one who gives people in the neighborhood names they don't know they have? Like "Blue truck dude", "Loud dog guy", "Nice old lady with the rose bushes", "That slut across the street."
Why did Stephen Hawking cross the street?
He didn’t; he never did.
You are so small that you play hockey against the curb!