Straight jokes
I'm as straight as a rainbow.
I've asked so many people what LGBTQ stands for. So far, no one has given me a straight answer.
As a straight son, one day I asked my mom, "Have you ever quit something that you did before?" My mom said, "No, I never quit anything." So I asked my when you give a blow job you ever spit, then my mom said, "What did I say? Quitters are for spitters."
"Karma is the guy on the Chiefs, Coming straight home to me."
Osama bin laden hit the towers because he couldnt fly straight
How do Americans learn the metric system?
9mm at a time. The problem is sometimes it goes straight through their heads.
Why does Ezra Miller’s Flash run in a straight line in The Flash movie? Bro ain’t straight.
Q: Why do I always see gays in the roundabout?
A: They couldn’t go straight.
What do the Twin Towers and genders have in common?
They both used to be straight.
The lines on the pride flag look pretty straight to me!
Gays: I like men.
Straight: I like women.
Bisexual: A hole is a hole.
Why do gay people only stand crooked? Cuz they can’t be straight.
I work in a garage, and yesterday a gay person came up to me and said, "Why won't my car go straight?"
The tables in my class are straight, but I can’t say the same thing for your hairline.
Your leg is straighter than James Charles.
Yo mama so gay that she made left and right turn straight.
My hairline may be straight, but I’m not.
Why that Nun didn't like Virgin Mary?
Because she was straight into Jesus.
They are making new versions of the Star Wars films. The names have only just come out.
There is Star Wars: Attack of the Trannies, Star Wars: The Trannie Awakens, Star Wars: Rogue Trannie, Star Wars: The LGBTQ Strikes Back, and then there is Star Wars: The Last Straight Man.
Me: Ok so let's get this straight....
Cop: I'm not straight ok, now get in the car.
Me: But I didn't do anything?
Cop: No.
Me: So why are you arresting me then?
Cop: Imma tell you a story.
Me: Oh no.......
Cop: I know, now come on.
Me: Ok where?
Cop: My room.
Me: Which room?
Cop: My bedroom.
Me: 😱I'm a girl.
Cop: So am I, now get in.
Me: But I'm 9.
Cop: I'm 59.