Straight

Straight jokes

Man

    • Two men are in a rainforest, and one of them is peeing. Suddenly, a snake jumps out of some bushes and bites the man’s penis. The other man says, “Oh my God, I will go to a doctor immediately!” He didn’t have enough time to load the man into the car, so he went straight to the hospital. The man told the doctor what happened, and the doctor said, “You will have to make an incision at the wound and suck the poison out.” The man went back to the other man and said, “There is no hope, you will die.”

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    • Dad

    • I went into a CS:Go lobby and all I heard for ten minutes straight was, "Act like you're hard, but your dad beat you harder."

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    • Tragedy

    • Joke 1) 9/11 was such a tragedy... Two drunk people drove a plane into a building.

    Joke 2) If 6-2=4, why are there no more towers?

    Joke 3) Is it a bird? Is it a plane? Whatever it is, it’s heading straight for the World Trade Center.

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    • Friend

    • To my best friend, my brother is like a spider. She chose to kill him straight away. That's why she is my friend, after all!

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    • Nightmare

    • A boy asked his dad: "Why didn’t you make love with my mom, Daddy?"

    Dad: "Because I’m gay."

    *Son started making out with his daddy and sucking his daddy’s big peepee.*

    Son: "W- Wait a minute. So how did I exist if you didn’t make love with my mom if you’re not straight?"

    Dad: "Because you are not real, and I didn’t even have a wife."

    The son woke up from his horrible nightmare, and he looked so scared. He did leave his bed to check out his dad, but he didn’t find his dad, until his dad entered the house, and he said to his son: "Why did you look so worried? I’m just bringing some food for breakfast."

    Son: "Well, but why are your hands full of cum ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ?"

    Dad: "Because I did it with you last night. Did you forget?"

    Son: "But it was a nightmare..."

    *Dad turns into a monster*

    Dad: "I’m your nightmare!"

    The son woke up, and he seemed too scared, and he found himself beside his dad torturing him after he discovered he’s gay.

    The son with himself: "Wake up, b*tch, wake up, b*tch!!!!!!"

    😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

    Difference

    • What is the difference between the rook and the bishop? The rook goes straight, while the bishop moves diagonally.

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    • Heart Monitor

    • We wrote letters to a kid with cancer. My letter read, "It's a bumpy road but soon you will have a straight path." People didn't realize it was meant for his heart monitor.

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    • Guy

    • How do you turn a straight guy into a gay guy? Well... for starters, you grab that ass of his, drag him into the bathroom, and tell him to suck my long, big pineapple, and thus you have yourself one straight guy converted into a dick-sucking machine.

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    • Police Officer

    • A police officer writes a ticket for a car not being parked correctly. The driver asks why. When he realizes he is parked poorly, he responds, "Oh. I'm terribly sorry. You see, I'm so gay I can't even park straight."

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    • Bus

    • So, a retarded kid's mom drops her kid off at school and says, "You better stop the bus today, because I’m not picking you up." So he agrees, and he arrives at the bus stop and says, "Stop!" (in a retarded voice). The bus goes straight past him. The next day, the mom says the same thing, and the kid goes to the bus stop and says, "Stop!" (in a retarded voice). The bus goes straight past him. The third day, his mom says, "I don’t care if I have to jump out in the middle of the road, you better stop that bus!" So the kid goes to the bus stop and jumps out in the middle of the road and says, "Stop!" The bus driver runs over him. A nearby lady stops the bus and says, "Why’d you run that poor kid over?" and he responds, "'Cause he was making fun of me" (in a retarded voice).

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