Store jokes
I saw an orphan in the grocery store and asked him, "Where's your mom?" and he cried. Why?
I used to be a baker, but I decided to quit my job and stick my dough inside WOMEN’S bakeries.
Cashier: "Will you want the milk in a bag today, sir?"
Customer: "I’ll just keep it in the carton if you don’t mind."
What is an orphan's favorite store? Home Depot.
What's a pirate's favorite shop?
Arrrrrrrrgos.
I go to the shop and buy 2 pints of kimo.
Imagine if you were an Arabic person shopping at Walmart with your son.
Now imagine he got lost and you had to start calling out his name.
...Now imagine his name is "Allahu Akbar."
Robber: This is a robbery, bitch!
Gunsalesman: No u
Why do midgets work at Tesco?
Because every little helps.
Why did the alarm go off when the emo and his friends left the store when they checked everything out?
The emo forgot to roll his sleeves up.
10 years ago my dad went to get milk. He said when he got back, he was going to tell me a joke. That joke better be worth it!
So a woman walks into a magician's toy store and browses the collection. Among which was a black, phallic-looking object. She brings it to the counter and asks, "what's this?"
The cashier explains that it's a magical dildo that will listen to whatever you say, "fuck me in the ass," it'll float in the air and fuck you in the ass, "fuck me in the pussy," it'll float in the air and fuck you in the pussy, "faster," it'll go faster, "harder," it'll go harder. She bought this magical artifact and went home for a night of fun and pleasure.
After receiving several orgasms from the magical dildo, she'd had enough, and she told it to stop, but it didn't. The dildo continued to penetrate her, it would go harder and faster, but it refused to stop or slow down. In a panic, she ran over to her car and drove to the hospital to get it surgically removed. Her panic made her disregard the traffic rules, and she quickly found herself pulled over by a cop. As she pulled down her window, the cop leaned towards the door and asked "Do you have any idea how fast you were going!?", the woman tried to explain the situation, she told the officer about the magical dildo stuck in her pussy, but the officer didn't believe her, "magical dildo, my ass" he said, and the lady drove home.
Elderly man: Can I get a discount, please? I fought in World War 2.
Cashier: Sure!
Elderly man: Danke.
Jonny went to school one day, and later that day his dad got a call saying he needed to pick up his son because he had had sex with a teacher. When Jonny got home, his dad was so happy he went out to the store and bought him a bike. When they bought the bike, Jonny was offered to ride the bike, but he declined it and replied, "My butt still hurts."
My Dad went for some milk. He never came back :)
A black lady goes inside the drug store on Eight Mile Road in the city of Detroit, Michigan, and asks the pharmacist, "I would like to buy a box of tampons."
And then the black lady is asked by the pharmacist, "Do you want to buy the box of mini pads, or do you want to buy the box of maxi pads?"
And then the black lady asks the pharmacist, "What is the difference?"
And then the pharmacist asks the black lady, "What is your flow like?"
And then the black lady tells the pharmacist, "Linoleum."
The mother and her daughter went to the store. After they arrived, the daughter looked around and ran off somewhere. The mother realized this and took off looking for her. After a while, she found her tugging on a black man. The mother asked, "What are you doing?" and the daughter replied, "I wan't the chocolate!"
Why are orphans banned from the shop?
No adult to pay for them.
My dad said he'd be back later after he walked out the door with a suitcase.
Who takes a suitcase to the grocery store? Silly daddy!
I was walking to the store, and then this boy told me, "I'm an orphan and I have no money." He wanted M\&Ms. I gave him a family-sized bag.