Store jokes
A mother and her 7 year old child are walking in the grocery store. The young boy then screams to a random woman βyou're an ugly bitch.β
The mother grabs her son and says, βIβm so sorry, I must have told him a thousand of times to not judge people on how they look."
My wife (or husband) told me to get six cans of Sprite from the grocery store.
I had just realized when I got home that I had picked up 7-Up.
There are perks to bringing an emo to the grocery store; you can get coupons by scanning their wrist.
You went to the bed store asking for a water bed. They put a pillow and sheets on the ocean.
What is the difference between a frog and a trombone player?
The frog might be on his way to a gig!
Memes
Why is the Azovstal Steel Plant important to the Russian?
Because it stores Zelensky's balls of steel!
Why did the emo go to the store?
To buy bleach.
What do you call a stupid mannequin?
A dummy.
Once youβve seen a shopping center, youβve seen a mall.
They told me a mask was enough to get into the supermarket.
They lied, everybody else was also wearing pants.
Where do orphans get their stuff from?
The reject shop.
Elderly man: Can I get a discount, please? I fought in World War 2.
Cashier: Sure!
Elderly man: Danke.
Ariana Grande was in the store, and when she put her groceries on the counter, she said, "Thank you, next!"
I went to the store and bought Minecraft Java Edition.
I found a village, burned it down, and then I went home and played Minecraft.
You never think of how people will react to an event. My friend gets discounts at any store he goes to.
I will be back, I'm gonna get milk...
Me:...
A suicidal customer walks into a gun store.
Cashier: Is this your final purchase?
Customer: Actually, yes it is!
Why did the dwarf work at Tesco?
Because every little bit helps!
I walked into a supermarket to get some ordinary clothes for the wife. Then I realized I was in a rape museum.
Look, Bono is a great guy, but shopping with him is a pain, because he still hasn't found what he is looking for.