Store jokes
I went to the shops yesterday. I bought roast chicken, eggs, and duck. The cashier read $45.99. It was an egg-cellent price!
What is an orphan's least favorite store?
Family Dollar, they just can’t seem to find one.
I walked into a supermarket to get some ordinary clothes for the wife. Then I realized I was in a rape museum.
Where do sheep go to shop? Shears.
Why did the dwarf work at Tesco?
Because every little bit helps!
One day, a chicken went to the nail store. He asked the "owner" where the shampoo was. "BRO IM NOT THE FRIKKIN MANAGER!" the guy said. So the duck walked away.
The next day he went back to the store and asked a pregnant lady why she was so fat. The lady punched him and ran away. The duck cried. Then he went to the lady's husband and said that he must be tired of being married since she punches people every day. The man punched him. The duck assumed they were the punching couple. The duck walked, and then fell in a ditch and stayed there to die. The pregnant lady and her husband were very pleased >:) muhahahahahahaha
Why do emo people go to the store with no money?
Because they just scan their bar code and get everything free.
Why couldn't the orphan buy chips?
They were all family sized.
Why did the one-handed man cross the road?
To get to the second-hand store!
Why is it poetic when they have plenty of those German sandals in the store? Because they're Birkenstock.
Yo, dad is so stupid, he brought the milk after two years, and he said, "Oh, sorry son. I'm going back to the store. Bye."
A chemical store burned down, and the firefighter just stood there, but at the end, the store fire just went out by itself. But the store owner still got angry.
Store owner: Why didn't you take out the fire?
Firefighter: Yeah, but it went out by itself.
Store owner: But still, why?
Firefighter: Your chemical store sells H20.
Store owner: Oh, I get it now!
Why did the emo go to the store?
To buy bleach.
There are perks to bringing an emo to the grocery store; you can get coupons by scanning their wrist.
Where does Stephen Hawking get his computer fixed?
At PC World.
I was in Alabama last year. I walked into a store and noticed a couple kissing each other, and I said, "Excuse me, where is the bathroom?" The man said, "Right over there." I went into the bathroom and then heard the girl say, "Dad, I have to go to school soon."
I went to the store and bought Minecraft Java Edition.
I found a village, burned it down, and then I went home and played Minecraft.
A black lady goes inside the drug store and asks the pharmacist, "Do you carry tampons?" Then the pharmacist asks the black lady, "Do you want the mini pads or the maxi pads?"
And then the black lady asks the pharmacist, "What is the difference?"
And then the pharmacist asks the black lady, "What is your flow like?"
And then the black lady tells the pharmacist, "Linoleum."
So I was walking in a store, and a carrot and a lettuce said, "Lettuce leaf!" to me.
A depressed guy walks into a utensil store and finds a knife, but he didn't stab himself... Part 2 coming out tomorrow.