Store

Store jokes

Thyme

    • A guy goes to the store to buy thyme.

    When he got back to put the thyme away he realized he still had thyme left. This was all for nothing, it was just a big waste of your thyme.

    Penaldo

    • Today, I was at the Apple Store when I saw that a lot of phones were broken. When I looked around, I saw none other than Pristiano Penaldo smashing all the phones. He said he was mad because he ghosted vs a relegation team. Shame on you, Penaldo!

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    • Store memes

    Orphan

    • Why can't orphans play baseball? They don’t know where home is.

    I made a website for orphans, but it doesn't have a home page.

    Doctor: I’m going to have to turn you away. Orphan: But why? Doctor: Because I’m a family doctor.

    Why do orphans like boomerangs? Cause they come back.

    Why do orphans become criminals? To know what it’s like to be wanted.

    Girls are like rocks; the flat ones get skipped.

    What’s an orphan’s least favorite TV show? Family Guy.

    If you hit an orphan, what are they going to do? Tell their parents?

    If you hit an orphan with a car, at least you don't have to tell their parents.

    Why did the orphan go to church? So he had someone to call Father.

    What does an orphan call a family photo? A selfie.

    Why was the orphan a big success? Cause people say go big or go home, he only had one option.

    Why is it ok to hit an orphan? It’s not like they can tell their parents.

    What’s an orphan’s least favorite store? Home Depot.

    What do orphans and blind kids have in common? They can’t see their parents.

    Why can't orphans hear about ancient Egypt? Because they don’t know what a mummy is.

    Why are orphans bad at poker? Because they don't know what a full house is.

    What do you call a virgin from Alabama? An orphan.

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    • Tylenol

    • A man walks into a pharmacy and buys multiple containers of Tylenol, and the clerk asks why he's buying all of these. He replies with, "I'm playing 1 pill eat 100."

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    • Santa

    • It was Christmas time for Little Johnny. He was going to make some cookies and milk for Santa until he heard shaking and moaning from his mother's bedroom.

    He thinks, "Meh, Dad's probably back from the grocery store."

    But 2 seconds later, he heard a "Ho Ho Ho Oh YEAH!" and then a slap. He opens the door. He finds Santa riding on his 19-year-old mom. He asks, "Santa, when did you get here and WHAT are you doing?"

    Santa replied, "Your mother asked for her 'milk jar' to be filled, and that's what I am doing."

    Johnny says, "Oh. But, Mom, you told me Dad was here, well where is he?"

    (Santa winks at you)

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    • Comeback

    • An ugly, arrogant woman walked into a store with her 2 kids, yelling at them.

    The store clerk pleasantly said, "Good morning ma'am and welcome. Nice children, are they twins?"

    The ugly woman stopped yelling and said, "Hell no they are not, one is 9 and the other is 7. Why the hell would you think they're twins? Are you blind, or just bloody stupid?"

    The clerk replied, "I'm neither blind nor stupid ma'am, I just can't believe someone would screw you twice."

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    • Gun store

    • I was walking down the street one day, and I passed the gun store. I walked in, and everything was half off. I didn’t know back-to-school sales had started already!

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    • Dildo

    • So Joe was at the store and he was looking for a dildo.

    Then he saw one made out of dick skin, so he grabbed it and uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh UhuhUhUhUhUhuHuHuHuHUHUHUHUHUHUHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH went his mouth.

    PENIS PENIS

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    • Celebrity

    • A famous celebrity admitted that she was non-straight, suffered from a rare condition that changed the colour of her skin, did not age well, only wanted to be compensated for her work in the 5th month of each year at her favourite store while laying down:

    TO GET FAYE'S WAY, PAY GRAY, GRAY, GAY FAYE WRAY IN MAY AND LAY HER DOWN AT "THE BAY". OK!!!

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