Still jokes

Last Christmas, I took a picture of your mom.

It's still printing.

Don't see why people say that babysitting a toddler is hard. You just grease the bathtub, put them inside with some food and drink, and go do your business. I guarantee you that they will still be there when you return.

If you stay in the house, you might need to use sound cancelling headphones too, though.

So one time I was looking up the definition of "accident" because I was a little dumbo and didn’t know what it meant. Then my sister walks up behind me and points at the word and says, “That’s you!” (meaning that I was an accident).

A few minutes later, we had a big family meeting and my dad said to my sister, “Sweetie, you were an accident. We didn’t mean to make you, but we still love you with everything we’ve got.”

My sister never talked to me again and left the house. She was 17 when she left. Seriously, 17-year-olds just never mature, huh?

Can we please stop the fricking drama! I see people bullying other people, too. Gwen is not the only one. For God's sake, just do jokes! If you want to bully someone, do it in your family! You people don't even know each other, but we're still doing this stupid nonsense! Just make jokes, people! That is why it's called "Worst Jokes Ever," not "Bully People Ever." So shut up and get a life, dum-dums! Geez! The only reason why I come here is to spread jokes and kindness like Gwen and others, not to spread hate and foolishness from people who don't even know better things to do but to hate on stupid strangers from different parts of the fricking world!!!!

"Addison, shut up. You're only 8 years old. What do you know?"

I might be 8, but at least I got some sense, and plus, I'm way smarter than you guys anyway. I'm in alert. You know, like a very, very, very intelligent kid! That can spell instead of saying "u," I say the true "you," instead of "pls," it's "please." Sorry if I did mean it... which I don't!

What's worse than a bag of dead babies? One at the bottom is still wriggling.

Okay, so I know this is not a joke, but I wanted to take some time to say if you have autism, you are still amazing. You are lovely in every way, and if people bully you, don't listen because they are wrong. You are cute, and I know how it feels. I have ADHD, and I get bullied a lot, but I don't let that get to me because I know what they are saying is wrong and not true. People with autism, stay strong; you got this. I will be your friend by heart, even if it's not in person.

You wanna hear a construction joke?

I'm still workin' on it!

Your momma's so fat, when she pulls her knickers down, her ass is still in them.

Did you know emo kids are the highest jumpers in the world? Some are still up there!

It's past April Fool's Day, and we still have a joke as president.

1, 2, 3, 4, 5. I'm old enough to drive, for now I'm still alive, till I crash in that beehive!

Son: Dad, if I told you I was gay, would you still love me?

Dad: Don’t be silly son, you were an accident. I never loved you in the first place.

Yo hairline go back so far you could drive 1,000,000 miles and still not find it.

I went to the shops and still didn’t find Lucy’s dad.

Why does a blind man still have eyes?

So he can see that he can't see.

I killed 5 orphans and tried to sell their organs.

Nobody still wanted them.

No matter how much I cry, the white people still left me hanging.

Who can jump the highest?

Emos, some of them are still falling.

You might think that tigers or lions are the best jumpers, but in my opinion, it's emos, because some of them are still in the air.

Your mum's so fat, I took a picture of her last Christmas and it's still printing.