Still jokes
What do you call an orphan if every other orphan gets picked?
Someone: Ugly?
Me: No, trick question, they are still an orphan.
You're snorting cocaine with your buddies. Your eyes are closed, feeling the bliss of drugs, when suddenly something wet touches your nostril. Your buddy Mark stuck his PENIS in your face. You look up at Mark, and he says, "I'm sorry," and runs away, his pants still down.
A computer is a HARDware device. How come someone still feels it is MicroSOFT?
How many babies does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Must be more than 9 cause my basement is still dark.
How many babies does it take to screw in a lightbulb? More than 40 because my basement is still dark.
Mom: Wake up!
Me: No, I'm too disappointed and I have a headache...
Mom: Why are you disappointed?
Me: I took 12 random pills and I still woke up...
Today, I asked my phone "Siri" why am I still single, and it activated the front camera.
Haters are hating. I'm still alluring, but I couldn't give a fuck cus this site is dying and boring.
Kid 1: "Hey, I bet you're still a virgin."
Kid 2: "Yeah, I was a virgin until last night."
Kid 1: "As if."
Kid 2: "Yeah, just ask your sister."
Kid 1: "I don't have a sister."
Kid 2: "You will in about nine months."
There was once a small earthquake, but when I got outside, I realized my brother was still stuck inside. When I told my mom, she just said, "It doesn't matter, you're my favorite anyway!"
The cops are still searching for my wife's killer. Luckily, I already fled the country.
Lemme just say one thing:
Depression is not funny. Two of my best friends have it, and it's actually quite hard to watch them suffer with it. They cry all the time, they get upset all the time, they either have wanted to or still do want to kill themselves. It's really not funny to joke about depression.
Yo mama is so fat that when I was printing a picture of her last year, it's still printing.
All these wraps and you still can't beatbox.
The only profession where one could have coronavirus and still go to work is a suicide terrorist.
- Yo mama is so fat, when she wears a yellow dress, people yell "Taxi!"
- Yo mama is so stupid, she tried to climb Mountain Dew.
- Yo mama is so ugly, she made a blind kid cry.
- Yo mama is so old, she knew Burger King when he was still a prince.
- Yo mama is so poor, she can't even afford to pay attention.
I like my cigars like I like my women: 7 years old and in a burlap sack from Cuba.
Ok, not really racist but still funny.
Gutted rn... the girl I loved hard just got in a relationship. She liked me too so I missed the chance. Idk if she still does... man...
A bully says, "I get 10x more girls than you" to a gay kid.
Then the gay kid says, "10 X 0 is still 0."
A man shoots up a school and then fakes his own death. He then later returns to shoot up the same school. He repeats the process a few times until the police catch him. When they ask why he did it, he replied, "I wondered when you would check if I was still breathing."