Still Jokes

If you ever have a gay friend whose comatose tell his family he/she was a fruit now he/she's a vegetable at least there still in the produce section

i went to my local shooting range today but was surprised to see that the news reported a school shooting there, i still dont know who snitched...

Only profession one could have coronavirus and still goes to work is suicide terrorist.

My wife still misses me...

But her aim is getting better!

what do you say when trumps is still president during 2020? magic

Technoblade can defeat every Minecraft player but he still can't defeat Cancer!

55. I’ll never forget my Grandfather’s last words to me just before he died. “Are you still holding the ladder?”

I remember my grandads last words. "Are you still holding the ladder."

A guy goes to the store to buy thyme. When he got back to put the thyme away he relized he still had thyme left. This was all for nothing it was just a big waste of your thyme.

A teacher was teaching her second-grade class about the government, so for homework that one day, she told her students to ask their parents what the government is. When Little Johnny got home that day, he went up to his dad and ask him what the government was. His dad thought for a while and answered, “Look at it this way: I'm the president, your mom is Congress, your maid is the workforce, you are the people and your baby brother is the future.'' “I still don't get it” responded the Little Johnny. “Why don't you sleep on it then? Maybe you'll understand it better,” said the dad. “Okay then...good night” said Little Jonny went off to bed. In the middle of the night, Little Johnny was awakened by his baby brother's crying. He went to his baby brother's crib and found that his baby brother had taken a crap in his diaper. So Little Johnny went to his parent's room to get help. When he got to his parent's bedroom, he looked through the keyhole to check if his parents were asleep. Through the keyhole, he saw his mom loudly snoring, but his dad wasn't there. So he went to the maid's room. When he looked through the maid's room keyhole, he saw his dad having sex with his maid. Little Johnny was surprised, but then he just realized something and thinks aloud, ''OH!! Now I understand the government! The President is screwing the workforce, Congress is fast asleep, nobody cares about the people, and the future is full of s**t!''

Fishing is like sex when it is great it is great when it is not so great it is still great!

How many babies does it take to change a lightbulb?

More than 9 because my basements still dark.

What’s one thing Obama proved during his presidency

No matter how far a brotha gets in life, he’s still going to have the cops on his back

Son to mother: "Mom, all the kids in the school are making fun of me because I am still a virgin."

Mother: "Well, start giving them bad grades and they will stop."

What do you call a 96-year-old who can still masturbate?

miracle whip

It’s important to establish a good vocabulary. If I had known the difference between the words “antidote” and “anecdote,” one of my best friends would still be alive.