Still jokes
How many dead hookers does it take to change a light bulb?
Definitely not 13, because my basement is still dark.
How many dead babies does it take to change a light bulb?
Must be more than 9, my basement is still dark!
Yo mama is so fat, I took a picture of her last year, and it is still printing.
It's important to have a good vocabulary. If I had known the difference between "antidote" and "anecdote," one of my best friends would still be alive.
You're snorting cocaine with your buddies. Your eyes are closed, feeling the bliss of drugs, when suddenly something wet touches your nostril. Your buddy Mark stuck his PENIS in your face. You look up at Mark, and he says, "I'm sorry," and runs away, his pants still down.
Haters are hating. I'm still alluring, but I couldn't give a fuck cus this site is dying and boring.
Who jumps the highest?
The emos; some of them are still in the air.
The only profession where one could have coronavirus and still go to work is a suicide terrorist.
There was once a kid named Timmy. His father and mother went to bed one night and didn't hear or see Timmy come with them.
They all get under the covers. Timmy, still unnoticed, looks under the covers and lets out a blood-curdling scream. "MOMMY, WATCH OUT! THERE IS A SNAKE GOING INTO YOUR BIG BLACK HAIRY BUSH!" And he proceeds to say, "DON'T WORRY MOMMY, I'LL GET IT!" And he takes his father's penis in his mouth and chomps down.
Now I want you to think what their breakfast conversation was the next morning.
Who can jump the highest?
Emos, some of them are still in the air.
How to know if your wife is dead? Well, the sex is still trash, but the dishes really start to pile up.
A woman once didn't return home for the night, and the next morning when she arrived home, her husband started questioning her about where she had been. She lied, saying she slept at one of her friends' houses.
The man proceeded to call all her friends, all of whom denied her sleeping at their places the previous night.
Meanwhile, somewhere else, a man didn't return home to his wife for the night either. The following morning, his wife started questioning him, and he lied, saying he slept at a friend's house. She proceeded to call all his friends. All of them said that he indeed slept at their places the previous night, and one of them even insisted that he's still there, but he's using the bathroom and he can't talk right now!
Who can jump the highest?
Emos, some of them are still falling.
Gutted rn... the girl I loved hard just got in a relationship. She liked me too so I missed the chance. Idk if she still does... man...
All these showstoppers and technical challenges and I still can't get your signature.
My dad went out for milk. It's been 15 years and I still have to eat my cereal dry.
Doctor: I'm sorry, but your surgery will cost a lot of money.
Buuuuut what's this behind your ear?
Oh, it's still cancer.
If a heterosexual man gets anonymous oral sex from another heterosexual man at a glory hole, it's called a "brojob", but if a homophobic heterosexual man gets anonymous oral sex from a gay man at a glory hole, it's still called a "brojob". Does it cycle now?
An Asian went to bed at 9:00, woke up at 6. People say he's still sleeping.
Want to hear my pencil joke? Wait, I'm still writing it.