Still jokes

Your mum is like a Golden Knight. She will still attack my tower with troops in the way, like Jude Porter.

"Talking about childhood habits, my friend told me he still collects coins and post stamps and all. He asked me, I said - breastfeeding."

My boyfriend always likes when I wear my fishnet sleeves. He says it looks great on me, but he doesn’t know that my skin is covered with scars... no one does. No one questions why I wear them everyday. I hope it stays like that because I can’t deal with my mom finding out that I still hurt myself.

Yo mama so fat that when Thanos snapped his fingers, she was still there.

My friend died. Me and my other bestie start singing the coffin song. My bestie in the coffin, why are you not sad? Why are you still alive?

Less depresso, more espresso, I'm still depressed, but now I'm fast.

What's worse than 100 dead babies in a skip?

The one that's still alive in the middle trying to eat its way out.

Anne Frank is still the Nazi hide-and-go-seek champion.

Queen Elizabeth died a couple weeks ago. I'm still trying to find the reboot catd.

I'm shidding. Still babies are still coming and going.

Yo mom's so fat, I went over to her house a few years ago and wanted to watch TV.

So I asked for the TV remote, and she's still trying to get it!

What animal jumps the highest?

An emo kid, some of them are still up there.

What type of people have the world record for most stories read in the shortest amount of time?

Emos, some of them are still in the air.

TJ's hairline so far back you still couldn't find it when the Devil was alive.

If a vegan and a vegan have a fight, is it still considered beef?

It’s Christmas and Sally has a gift. She got a Barrie. Just kidding, she still hasn’t opened it.

It's important to have a good vocabulary. If I had known the difference between "antidote" and "anecdote," one of my best friends would still be alive.

Friend (Evan): Did you do some dumb shit?

Me: Hell yeah.

Friend (Evan): Did you get us both in trouble?

Me: Hell yeah.

Friend (Evan): Will I still help you because you are my best friend?

Both: FUCK YEAH!

Yo mama's so fat, when she went on the scale it said, "Still counting."

Your momma's so fat, when she pulls her knickers down, her ass is still in 'em!