Still jokes

Want to hear my pencil joke? Wait, I'm still writing it.

What are you doing, son? It has been an hour, and you are still in front of the mirror closing your eyes.

Mum, actually I want to see how I look while sleeping...

"Talking about childhood habits, my friend told me he still collects coins and post stamps and all. He asked me, I said - breastfeeding."

Your mum is like a Golden Knight. She will still attack my tower with troops in the way, like Jude Porter.

They say if Viagra lasts more than four hours, call the doctor? I’m just wondering, it’s been six hours and I’m still hard, should I call the doctor or hop on another woman?

My wife is so fat. After sex, I rolled over twice. I was still on top of the bitch!

Picture of yo mama last Christmas and the damn thing’s still printing.

Even though you are a meateater, you can still totally be a vegetarian.

One day I told a kid what 2 x 12 was. He said he didn't know. I said let's go to my basement and figure it out. He is still in my basement trying to do the equation.

Uranus caught a 3-meter flatty while surfing. Check the tail still kicking. Deadly, my bruz!

My boyfriend always likes when I wear my fishnet sleeves. He says it looks great on me, but he doesn’t know that my skin is covered with scars... no one does. No one questions why I wear them everyday. I hope it stays like that because I can’t deal with my mom finding out that I still hurt myself.

The other day, my wife asked me to pass her lipstick, but I accidentally passed her a glue stick. She still isn’t talking to me.

I'm shidding. Still babies are still coming and going.

Less depresso, more espresso, I'm still depressed, but now I'm fast.

Yo mom's so fat, I went over to her house a few years ago and wanted to watch TV.

So I asked for the TV remote, and she's still trying to get it!

If a vegan and a vegan have a fight, is it still considered beef?

My friend died. Me and my other bestie start singing the coffin song. My bestie in the coffin, why are you not sad? Why are you still alive?

TJ's hairline so far back you still couldn't find it when the Devil was alive.

What animal jumps the highest?

An emo kid, some of them are still up there.

What type of people have the world record for most stories read in the shortest amount of time?

Emos, some of them are still in the air.