Steven Hawking jokes
The Stephen Hawking space telescope will be launched next year. Apparently, it will have four wheels and run off Windows 7.
Why did Steven Hawking only tell one-liners?
Because he couldn't do standup.
When I went to heaven, I saw Steven Hawking standing there. I asked why he isn’t in heaven yet. He said there are stairs.
Why did Steven Hawking's snot not go to heaven?
Because there is no ramp to heaven.
Why didn’t Steven Hawking go to heaven? Because it was a stairway, not a rampway.
Stephen Hawking is the fastest footballer ever--he could just charge up the Left Wing!
"Rueben Glover is a Steven Hawking spastic."
What do you call Stephen Hawking on Mars? Mars Rover.
What was the one test that Steven Hawking couldn't pass?
reCAPTCHA
What’s the difference between Hitler and Steven Hawking?
Nothing, they're both dead, one painted the walls and the other committed suicide by pressing ALT + F4.
Stephen Hawking did not die; he deleted himself.
Apparently Steven Hawking was a stand-up kind of guy.
How did Steven Hawking die?
His wife needed a charger and plugged him out.
What happens when Steven Hawking dies?
Take his iPad to Cash Converters.
What's black and sits on the bottom of the stairs to the cellar?
Steven Hawking where the experiments went wrong.
Steven Hawking was so excited for Christmas till he realized he got socks.
Have you walked into Steven Hawking's house yet?
Yeah, neither has he.
Recent attempts to defund Special Olympics have organizers scrambling to come up with more corporate sponsorship... targeted companies include:
Kleenex
Depends
Bicycle Helmet manufacturers
Velcro Shoe manufacturers
Steven Hawkings Publishers
What's Stephen Hawking's favorite food?
His shoulder.
Stephen Hawking died.