If you're ever bored, try scaring the sh*t out of an Asian to see their eyes open for the first time.
When a midget smokes weed, do they get high or medium?
When an emo kid jumps out of a tree, what happens when he hits the ground?
Nothin' much, he just flops over an hour later when they untie the rope.
A man from France, a man from Britain, and a man from New York are on an expedition to the Amazon Forest. After a while, they get lost. As they are walking, suddenly the bushes jump up into the air and men with spears are there. One man says, "Hey, you're in our sacred land. So what we are going to do is skin you and then use your flesh to make canoes. But we aren't that crazy, so we will let you choose how you die."
The man from France said, "Bring me the poison."
The man from Britain said, "Bring me the gun."
And the man from New York said, "Bring me a fork."
The guy was confused with the fork but still brought the items and gave them to them.
The guy from France said, "For France!" And drank the poison and died.
The man from Britain said, "Long live the queen!" And shot himself and died.
And the man from New York started stabbing himself with the fork and said, "Make a canoe out of this, you fuckers!"
In chess, why does the queen have more mobility than the king?
Because the chessboard looks like a kitchen floor.
What do you call two Mexicans at a country restaurant? "Two beaners in a cracker house."
Is Google male or female? Female, because it doesn't let you finish a sentence before making a suggestion.
How many Mexicans does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Only Juan.
What do you call a blonde who dyes her hair?
Artificial Intelligence.
Welcome onboard Sexist Airlines. Everyone, please fasten your seatbelts now as we are switching to a female pilot.
What do you call a teenage boy who doesn’t masturbate?
A liar.
What's the traditional food of Black Jews? - Kosher watermelon...
What do you call a fat girl with a rape whistle?
Optimistic.
What gang was Stephen Hawking in? The Crips.
what do you get when you play a country song backwards? you get your wife, your house, and your kids back.
Why did the turkey cross the road twice?
To prove he wasn’t a chicken!
Most states:
"It's ok, it won't be awkward. We're still friends."
Alabama:
"She didn't wanna be my girlfriend anymore. But she said she'll still be my sister."
Why do emos like yo-yo's? Cos they get strangled by the string.
What do you call a dog with no legs?
My asian neighbors dinner.
How do you blindfold an Asian?
With dental floss.
