Name something you practiced kissing on as a kid.
Sister. SWEET HOME ALABAMA!
My uncle can't walk straight. I think it's because he's gay.
What do you call a sophisticated American?
A Canadian.
What do you call a white girl having a seizure? A vanilla shake.
What's the difference between a mosquito and a blonde? The mosquito stops sucking after you slap it.
Why are Americans so dumb?
Because they shoot the ones that go to school.
How many feminists does it take to fix a lightbulb?
None. Feminists can't change anything.
What do you call an autistic kid with a glock?
Special forces.
Btw, I'm 13.
What do you get when you mix up a group of emos?
Suicide squad.
Why is it that when I'm in school doing PE, it's fine for someone to say "boys against girls", but the moment I say "blacks against whites" I'm the bad guy?
What happens when an emo kid tries to high-five you? You leave him hanging.
What's a similarity between The Ark of the Covenant, The Holy Grail and a bunch of 12 year olds?
They are all locked in the Priest's basement.
How do you make an emo jump?
A cliff.
Q: What is the difference between a battery and a woman?
A: A battery has a positive side.
What do you call a Mexican under a carpet? Underlay, underlay.
What is a Mexican's favorite sport?
Cross-country!!!
How did the black woman name her 4 babies?
Tyrone, Tyrone, Tyrone, and Tyrone.
How did she differentiate them?
She called them by their last names.
What do you call a flat-chested emo? A cutting board.
Q: How are Asians like a box of chocolates?
A: Either way they'll kill your dog.
Yo mama so fat that when I banged her in the jacuzzi, there was a level 8 tsunami.
