When you're the only one nice to the quiet kid.
Kid: "I like you... don't go to school tomorrow."
Q: How do you know when an Asian broke into your house?
A: You can't find your dog.
What do you call an autistic kid with a gun?
Special Forces.
What do you call a dwarf police officer?
A guinea pig.
How many Karens does it take to change a light bulb?
Just one...to call 911 and demand a cop come do something about the intimidating blackness.
When you call the Middle Eastern suicide hotline, they ask you if you can fly a plane.
If a man drove over a woman, whose fault was it?
The man, because he shouldn't be driving in the kitchen.
Why does Donald Trump take Xanax?
For Hispanic attacks!
A German, an Australian, and a Mexican are on a plane. They say that they can tell where they are by sticking their hands out of the pane.
The German sticks his hand out and says, "We are in Germany." The others ask, "How do you know?" The German says, "Because it's so cold."
Then the Australian sticks his hand out and says, "We are in Australia." The others ask, "How do you know?" He replies, "Because it's so warm."
Then the Mexican sticks his hand out and back in. He says, "We are in Mexico." The others ask, "How do you know?" He says, "Because my watch is gone."
Why did the blonde tip-toe past the medicine cabinet?
The cabinet had sleeping pills.
Why are emo jokes so infamous?
They cut deep.
What's a lesbian's favorite type of food?
Finger-food.
How many cops does it take to change a lightbulb?
None, they all beat the room for being black.
What’s wrong with a gay bbq?
All the hotdogs taste like shit.
Q. What's the difference between a normal kid and an emo kid? A. One has a functioning neck.
A blonde really got tired of all blonde jokes and decided to hang herself in the bathroom. As she locked the door, she yelled at her husband, "I'm hanging myself because I'm tired of jokes about us blondes being stupid!" Her husband broke into the bathroom and saw his wife with a rope tied on her toe. The husband said, "I thought you were hanging yourself." She said, "Yes, I am!" The husband replied, "Usually when people hang themselves, they tie the rope around their neck, so why is yours tied on your toe?" She said, "I tried that, but I couldn't breathe."
What do you call a white person having a seizure?
A vanilla shake.
How do you make someone in Africa disappointed?
Sing "Raindrops Keep Falling on My Head."
I was gonna walk up to an emo and say, "Do you get jealous when your phone dies?"
What do you call a 60 year old with a bomb?
Suicide Boomer.
