The sexual shout "Yes Daddy" probably originated in Alabama.
Did you know all Canadians have the same blood type?
They all have blood "eh."
How to kill a blond: put a scratch & sniff in a pool.
When the Mexican wanted to go shopping,
he went to Ja-mall.
How do you circumcise someone from Alabama?
Kick his sister's jaw.
Puerto Rican teen: I'm a waste, a failure, NUNCA LO PODRA ASER (I'll never be able to do it).
The mother: AI NINO (OH CHILD).
The teen: QUE? (WHAT?)
The mother: NO TE PONGA CON ESTA MIELDA OTRAVES! (DON'T START WITH THIS SHIT AGAIN!)
The teen: I CAN'T DO SHIT RIGHT MAMA!
The mother: OOOHHH YEAH WELL TU SI PUEDES ABLAR MIELDA DE TI, I BOTAR BASURA! (YOU SURE CAN TALK CRAP ABOUT YOURSELF AND THROW OUT THE TRASH.)
The teen: QUAL (WHICH).
The mother: MADRE DE DIOS (MOTHER OF GOD).
The teen: AVIA UNA NEGRA I OTRA BLANKA (THERE WAS A BLACK ONE AND WHITE ONE).
*A phone buzzes.*
The teen: Whose phone is that, ma?
Unknown: MR. PRESIDENT IF YOU TAKE AWAY THE CONFEDERATE FLAG HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO KNOW WHO THE BAD WHITE PEOPLE ARE?
*Runs to bag, opens white one and sticks hand in.*
The teen: HAIR GEL
A ginger.
Ever wonder why pandas are endangered? Well, China's overcrowded, and therefore they're starving. They have to eat...
Panda: "My god. They're coming! Run! They're hungry! Run! Roll down the hill!"
Chinese People At Bottom Of Mountain With Spears: "Ching chong wing bong KABOB!!!"
I like my coffee like I like my women.
Big tits.
What do you call a smart blonde?
Nonexistent.
What's a similarity between The Ark of the Covenant, The Holy Grail and a bunch of 12 year olds?
They are all locked in the Priest's basement.
What is a redneck's favorite sock?
A red sock.
what do you get when you play a country song backwards? you get your wife, your house, and your kids back.
Jake, tommy, and mike were adopted. Jake got adopted, tommy got adopted and mike. Mike grew up to be a office worker. So you get a new job, and here something about this guy named mike, The next day you go into the office and mike is sitting next to you, with unicorns and Rainbows and stuff, then, a co-worker comes up and says “No one told you mike was gonna be this GGGAAAAYYYYY!!
what do you call a lazy gay?
someone who comes straight out of the closet, and goes straight to the couch.
What has two wings and a halo?
A Chinese telephone. Wing-wing Halo?
So a blond and a brunette jumped out of a plane. Who hit the ground first?
The blond because she had to ask for directions.
An American and an Asian walk into a bar. What are your names? the bartender asks. The American says, "William Matthews." The Asian says, "Same Ting."
What's the difference between a feminist and a pencil?
One of them has a POINT:)
How does an Indian open his car?
"Boot, boot!" (in an Indian accent)
