Stephen Hawking

Stephen Hawking jokes

Talent

You say to your slow friend: "Damn, you're slower than Stephen Hawking!" And that takes some talent.

Man

Man, I’m so sorry that Stephen Hawking is dead; he was such a good person.

Too bad it’s a staircase to Heaven and not a ramp.

Black Hole

Well, if Stephen Hawking likes black holes so much, why did he call security when I put my hole on his face?

Death

Why did Stephen Hawking die?

Because I unplugged his life support to charge my phone.

Telescope

The Stephen Hawking space telescope will be launched next year. Apparently, it will have four wheels and run off Windows 7.

Similarity

What makes Stephen Hawking and your dumped girlfriend similar?

They can't stand up for themselves.

Subject

Stephen Hawking's best subjects were Physics and Maths. His worst was P.E.

Spastic

On one hand he was fantastic and the other a spastic. You could say he was a fantastic spastic.

People

Could never understand why people would say Stephen Hawking is a dead man walking.

Step

Who said, "That's a small step for man, a giant leap for mankind?"

Not Stephen Hawking.